Lips Like Morphine

2010-09-04T14:25:00.000+08:00

Edit//

I have tumblr! :D

I have officially abandoned this blog for tumblr. It's so much prettier. I can't bring myself to delete this blog though. It has too many rants and raves and crazy conversations to delete with just one click. Check my tumblr for updates.

My tumblr link: michellejeyabalan.tumblr.com

2010-05-01T10:50:00.001+08:00

I think I need to start behaving myself.

I can't do all the things Teresians do. In St. Teresa the girls walked around with their pinafores unzipped and baju kurung skirts hiked up around their thighs when the weather was too hot. We didn't have to go to the bathroom to change clothes for PE, everyone just strips in class. The girls talked about their periods openly and boobs were pretty much public property to your friends. In a way, it was like being part of a giant sorority. Buuuut, I'm not in an all girls school anymore so I can't do all those things. I can't be as loud as I want or touch people in places I shouldn't. HAHAH. I can't walk around school or sit in class with my baju kurung skirt lifted over my knees. No, it's time to be a lady now.

No, this is not an attempt to 'fit in'. I've given up on that years ago. Every school I've been to, I can never really fit in. I'm just different and I've accepted that. I take being called weird as a compliment. I'd rather be myself no matter how strange I am and be remembered for something than just be another face in the crowd. I'm still going to speak my mind and be my usual random self. I'm not changing who I am. I'm just minding my manners and behaving myself a little more.

It's about time I start really studying too. By really studying, I mean sitting there for hours with a book. Not my usual open book-stare at it-get distracted by the smallest of anything and everything like a mosquito flying by or random thoughts about beavers-close book...."I think I'll go on facebook now". No, this time I'm going to actually study. Time's running out and it's time to get serious. SPM, you're a bitch.

Time to make a change for the better.

2010-04-21T14:20:00.008+08:00

"I'm not going anywhere", he said.

And then he left.

2010-04-11T12:20:00.009+08:00

So last week Suneeta spent 3 nights and 4 days in my house. Every night, 5 minutes after wishing each other good night, we'd start talking and laughing so hard and the next thing we knew, we'd have to wake up for school in about 3 hours and it was during exam week so you can just imagine what our results are going to be like.

We got hungry on the first night and neither of us know how to cook. We tried to fry an egg but couldn't find the clicky thingy to light the stove so microwaved the eggs instead. It cooked but it came out hard. It took us forever to just chew one piece. We spent like 2 hours just doing this. Basically, it was two retards microwaving eggs in their pyjamas at midnight, the night before midterm exams. Typical us. Will upload the video soon.

We logged into this random sex chat website and joined in the group conversations. It was hilarious. Suneeta made friends with this hot scottish nerd (in a non-cyber-sexual way). We nicknamed him Jam Jennings. Watched All Time Low videos on Youtube. I've gotten Suneeta hooked on them. All Time Low is like my favourite band and I want to make babies with their frontman, Alex Gaskarth. :D

***
School held a Battle of the Bands yesterday. It was cool. First place went to A Minus. Their drummer was awesome. I couldn't stop watching him. Second place went to Amir's, Boon Hoe's, Ravin's and Savin's band - Ground Zero. Yay! I like their drummer too. *winkwink* :D

Went to Carrefour for lunch after that where Boon Hoe and I decided to be chefs and mixed everyone's leftovers into one really gross dish. Charleen dared us to taste and we did. It wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. There was this lady sleeping at one of the tables in the food court so Suneeta and I woke her up. It was Suneeta mostly. I just poked her and ran.

2010-03-26T23:22:00.018+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAVINIA!
You're totally and completely yourself
and its rare to find people like that these days.
You're a really cool person and I love you, lady.
Hope you had a really sweet 16th.

Went to KLCC for Mavinia's birthday today. Consisted of Rubin, Tarvin, Priyanka, Jwalita, Suneeta, Dianne, Harsha, Asmitha, Ju Ann, Dania, Pinky and of course Mavinia. Only met Dania and Pinky today. Clicked with them instantly. They're really cool.

Mavinia's parents took us to the Sky Bridge. Everyone randomly sang happy birthday to her in the elevator and we were so loud. Once, we were on the bridge, we spotted a school from a distance that looked like ours and there was another school on the opposite side that also looked like ours.

Everyone: *excited* "our school! our school!"
Mavinia's Dad: "Wangsa Maju is on the opposite side."
*everyone walks to the opposite window and spots the other orange school*
Everyone: *excited* "our school! our school!"
Mavninia: "no, no. that's not our school. our school's field is not that big okay."
Everyone: *disappointed* "ohhh."
Me: "okay you guys, not every orange building is our school okay."

Went for lunch at Nando's after that. Mavinia told us she wasn't having a cake and you can't celebrate a birthday without a cake so we surprised her with a cake after lunch. After singing happy birthday and cutting our cake, Mavinia's parents surprised her with a cake too. So we did the whole singing happy birthday and cutting cake thing again. HAHAH. Yes, everyone at Nando's was staring.

Harsha: "eh, Mavinia! wait, I got another cake for you." *pretends to walk away*
Mavinia: *OMG face*
Harsha: "eh, no la. just joking."
Me: *dies laughing*

birthday girl.

Watched a movie after that. Green Zone. Then finally went home around 9pm. It was a really fun day. Laughed non-stop especially since the sssexay Harsha was there (say it how she says it - sssexay!). She's insanely hilarious.

2010-03-19T17:12:00.010+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHOEBE SIMON!

You are and always will be my wife.
Remember ah, NO DIVORCE.
This year, may you be blessed with
good grades, pork and apeks.
Have an awesome 17th, Phoby.
Pucheng lalaloves you.

2010-03-15T20:12:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUNNY BUNNY!
Have an awesome 17th my lesbian lover / best friend.
I swear, I'd be completely lost at school without you.
I mean, who else would dance the frog dance
and rap about stupid things with me?
No one gets me like you do.
I looooove you.

Had prom committee meeting followed by drama rehearsals at school today. Celebrated Suneeta's birthday at the playground behind school after that. Boon Hoe, Steffi, Thanuja, Sherlina, Reena, Tejinder, Tarvin, Rubin, Mavinia and I hid in this tiny little hut while waiting for her. The minute Suneeta arrived, we all went charging after her, spraying her with water and streamers while Jwalita and Priyanka held her so she couldn't run. She was completely drenched. Rubin, Tarvin, Boon Hoe, Suneeta and I sat in KFC talking for hours after that. Well, Suneeta and I did most of the talking.

2010-03-13T23:00:00.001+08:00

Yesterday evening was one of the best few hours I've had this year.

Harsha, Rubin, Priyanka, Ravin and I went to Mavinia's house and then walked around Bukit Setiawangsa. I've been there but never explored the place until yesterday. I really like it and oh, the houses there are gorgeous. We found a bra on the sidewalk. HAHAH.

I finally got to spend real alone time with him. We made memories I never want to forget. Not much I can say about yesterday. Those moments are too precious to give away.

Of teaching me to slow dance, blisters and kisses. (:

Sports Day 2010

2010-02-28T18:11:00.001+08:00

They do it differently in this school. It was held in a stadium instead of school like I'm used to. So we took the bus! Ohhh yeah! I felt so gangster like I was from the hood or something. I rarely ever take the bus so I find using public transportation somewhat thrilling. Yes, it doesn't take much to excite me. Suneeta and I did our rap loud enough for the whole bus to hear. Click here to watch the video.

There was no shade where we were sitting so we were roasted to the core. I got so hot, you could have fried an egg on my head. Too bad I'm not white. I would have gotten a nice tan. I've never been sunburned this bad before. I'm so dark now, if I shaved my head, I could pass for Akon. It doesn't bother me that much though. I've never really been concerned about my skin colour.

Oh, and Green House won! :D

Pictures ripped from Haziq's facebook album.

Green takes the win.

Heyyyyyyyy.

Doesn't Yee Lyn look adorable?

Yvonne's hair looked awesome.

Meet Steffi, my Laffy Taffy.

After sports day, I went bowling for the first time in my life! I suck but I got one strike. My score was like 0,0,0,0,strike,0,0,0,0. I tried bowling backwards and rolled the bowl through my legs. HAHAH. Click here to see the video. I understand Gurmeet's obsession with bowlig now. It's fun.

2010-02-23T13:08:00.002+08:00

Random;

getting to know the new German exchange student.
Me: 'hi, I'm Michelle."
Suneeta: "and I'm Suneeta."
Both of us: "do you know how to juggle eggs?"
German student: *stares at us weirdly*

Suneeta: "you know, we asked the German student if she knew how to juggle eggs."
Me: "yeah, she just stared at us. so weird."
Regina: "you just went up to a person you don't know and asked them if they juggle eggs. you guys are the weird ones."
Suneeta: "but juggling eggs is the most common hobby among asians!"
Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Haziq: *leaning against the wall, holding a book and chewing on his bottle*
Suneeta: "Haziq, you have nothing to do. just go to class la."
Me: "Sunny, clearly he's very busy.
Haziq: "yeah, can't you see the book, the bottle, the chewing?"

Rubin: *throws tissue at Tejinder*
Tejinder: *looks at Rubin*
Rubin: *in super happy voice* "tissue fiiiight!"

facebook chat.
Me: okay, bye. xxxx
Him: bye. xxxx...... how come we forget the o's?
How adorable can you get? (:

2010-02-14T11:06:00.007+08:00

It's valentines day.

I think valentine's day is bullshit and so cheesy but I still look forward to getting those anonymous cards and gifts every year.

So to all who are celebrating this
over commercialized, overrated, totally clichéd holiday,
Happy Valentines, losers. (:

2010-02-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

Finally, CNY holidays are here. I'm looking forward to waking up at noon for a whole week. I need to catch up on my sleep. I've been surviving the past two weeks with an average of 5 hours of sleep every night. I waste my time during the day so I'm always up late doing last minute homework, downloading music or talking on the phone. Why do people like calling me late at night?

I want to start tuition at Kasturi but every time I go, something always gets in the way. The first time, I forgot my money for fees, the second time, I got lost trying to find the centre (what's new?), the third time, I just decided not to cos I realized I had missed too many classes for this month. I would like to believe this is a sign from God telling me I dont need to study but I know it's quite unlikely.

So instead of tuition, Priyanka took me around Petaling Street which is opposite Kasturi. The last time I went to Petaling Street I was 12 so I was a little thrilled about being there. People there are such cheats and kind of sleazy. Constant wolf whistling and gawking and shouting pet names. I'd never go there alone. Oh, Priyanka made me try air mata kucing. It's nice.

I almost got chased by a giant chicken. There was this chicken mascot thing that was like 6 feet tall and was walking behind Priyanka and me. I was really thrilled at first. I was all "OMG, GIANT CHICKEN!" but then it started stomping its feet so we started walking faster and so did the giant chicken. So we walked even faster and so did the chicken. I was freaking scared at this point, my heart was racing and I was getting ready to run but then this white guy tried to take a picture with the chicken so it stopped following us. Thank God for white tourists. Petaling street is a scary place.

Went to McDonalds in Carrefour for lunch after school with Gurmeet, Boon Hoe, Zaim, Priyanka, Jwalita and Suneeta. We passed by this car with a chinese couple in it in the parking lot and Boon Hoe goes *gasps* "chinese people!" HAHAH! I told him when I grow up, I'm gonna keep a bald man as my pet so I can rub his shiny head everyday. Boon Hoe and Priyanka doubled over laughing on the sidewalk. Had to cross the road many times today. As usual, I ran across screaming. Gurmeet's dad saw me.

Me: "hi uncle. I dont know how to cross roads."
Gurmeet's Dad: "I can see that."

On a different topic, you totally made my day with that rose. (:

2010-01-31T18:48:00.000+08:00

I went for Boys Like Girls.

Picked Steffi and Alyssa up and got lost on the way there. Drove around in circles and had to ask for directions a million times. Told my driver to make U turn and we were driving on the wrong side of the road. This is what happens when Michelle tries to lead the way. I'm horrible at directions. I still have trouble finding my way home from school.

Met up with Boon Hoe, Ravin, Savin, and Jun Yan there. Queued in the rain for like 2 hours before the gates were opened. Wrong day to wear white. Queued for another hour and a half outside the arena. People were pushing like crazy and some girl fainted. Steffi and I saw the paramedics carrying her on a stretcher.

We were standing right in front. The local acts sucked. No one really cared about them. Boys Like Girls were amazazinggg. I've always liked them but was never that crazy about them. I am now though. After their first song, I shouted "Paul, I wanna have your babies!" to them. I sang along with every song. More like screamed along. Surprisingly I didn't lose my voice. Martin Johnson crowd surfed. Shayne got to see his butt. I was so jealous. HAHAH.

Took forever to get a cab home. I was supposed to stay over at Steffi's that night but decided to go home since we were passing by my house. It was after midnight and everyone was asleep. The door was locked and my freaking credit expires. My new neighbours had just moved into the house next door. I didn't even know until that night. I saw them putting up their curtains through the window. Their son was outside so I borrowed his phone. He got such a fright at first. HAHAH.

My dad was pretty pissed the next day. I didn't tell him I was going for a concert til I was at the concert. He thought I was just hanging out with my friends. I managed to twist it all around and put the blame on him saying he shouldn't assume the worst about me and that I was honest and all that bullshit. Watching Boys Like Girls live would've been worth getting into trouble for anyway.

We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs,
And they'll think it's just cos we're young,
And we'll feel so alive.

2010-01-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated this thing in a looooong time. I've been so lazy to blog now days. I'm thinking of quitting blogging. It feels more like an obligation now. Like homework or something.

I finally moved to KL. I don't miss Kuching as much as I thought I did. School's pretty good. I was in a girls school for the past 3 years so it still feels a teeny bit weird going to school with boys again. I was dreading starting in a new school all over again but it turned out to be pretty good.

I like the friends I've made. I actually found people who skate and listen to real music like bands and stuff. Not that booty-shaking-bling-bling crap. I happen to hate celebrities like Rihanna and Lady Gaga and the Pussycat Dolls with a passion. They're not talented, they're just sluts. There's a difference between making music and shaking your barely clothed body on TV.

Moving on. I miss my friends from St.Teresa though. I miss all our inside jokes and role playing and being referred to as 'Pucheng'. Everyone here calls me Michelle. I mean, I know it's my name and all but I'm so used to being referred to as some wacky nickname by my friends. Ray, Phoebe, Theresa, Sara, school's not the same without you guys. Pucheng misses you terribly :(

I'm bored of blogging now. Goodbye.

2009-12-20T10:42:00.005+08:00

I don't like christmas. Well, it's not that I don't like christmas, I just don't really care about it that much anymore.

At least not this year. And the year before that. And the year before that. I pretty much stopped getting excited over chritmas when I hit my teen years. I just dont get what there is to look forward to on christmas. Even the presents don't excite me anymore. And the christmas carols! Oh my God, the christmas carols constantly playing everywhere you go - malls, restaurants, etc - is driving me insane. It actually makes me angry. Especially Jingle Bells. It's worse than listening to Rihanna. I happen to hate Rihanna with a passion btw.

Christmas is a christian holiday cause we're celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. So I have a question. Where the hell did the christmas tree and frosty the snow man come from!? As for Santa, story goes that he was Saint Nick and he used to donate presents to children who couldn't afford them on christmas so he has an excuse. But the christmas tree? Did some guy just say, "oh my goodness, Jesus was born today! Let's go decorate a tree!"? And as for frosty, I dont know why but I hate that guy! Since I was a kid, I could never really like him much. I wish we had winter here so I could watch that snowy asshole melt in the spring.

Yes, it's official. I've lost my mind.

2009-12-16T20:05:00.020+08:00

In my previous post, I said that the search for the Fort Margherita turned out to be a crazy/ torturous/ hilarious day. The things we went through looking for the Fort Margherita in the blazing afternoon heat for hours and we ended up not getting there. Well, this time we did. :D

Ray, Phoebe and I rode the sampan again to get to the same place except this time the old sampan man told us which deck to go to and dropped us off at the deck. What a niiiiiiiice sampan man. He took just the 3 of us and I'd like to believe it's cos we're special and not because we agreed to pay 2 bucks for a 50 cent sampan ride.

Walked up a muddy slope and found the Margherita Fort. Went to go see Ranee Margherita's grave which was right in front of the fort. She was one of the Brooke's wives. They built the fort while they dominated Sarawak. They had canons, jail cells, watch towers, windows made to shoot enemies and huts where they hung people. It was really cool. Explored the whole place.

Ranee Margherita's grave.

so thats what we'd look like in the army.

one of the watch towers.

top floor of the fort.

the skull tower balcony.
x

another watch tower.
x

titanic. nigga jack and nigga rose (inside joke).

Me: "you keep a look out for the enemies, I'll shoot"
x

Look at Phoebe's face. HAHAH.

2009-12-09T12:00:00.000+08:00

EDIT//

Fucking. Crazy. Day.

Went out with Ray so of course it was a crazy day. My 12-year- old cousin, Sam is staying here for the week so she tagged along. Explored the streets of Kuching city. On foot. We were walking around for almost 8 hours today. My feet hurt so bad right now.

Went to 4 museums today. Its just a thing Ray and I do. She took me to a museum for the first time in my life this year. We bailed on our physics project and walked to the museum. So random. HAHAH. Went to Mcds for lunch. I hate making decisions cos I'm so damn indecisive even when it comes to the smallest things like picking lunch. Spent 15 minutes trying to decide what to order.

Went to Water Front after that to ride the sampan. Yes, sampan. Don't give me that look, they're cool okay. Its a five minute ride and it only costs 40 cents. It takes you across the river to this other part of Kuching we've never been to and that place is a tad bit secluded. We went looking for the Margarita Fort so we were walking on the sidewalk in the blazing afternoon heat for almost two hours and almost every car that drove by honked, waved or slowed down. Guys in Kuching do that a lot. Even the gross middle aged ones with the beer gut and creepy smiles. eeyuck.

Passed by a skinny old man sitting in his boxers by the bushes digging through this small case and smoking something that was definitely not a cigarette and he seemed high when he wanted to talk to us. We assumed he was a junkie. We ignored him and walked ahead quickly then turned around to find him following us a few feet behind but he disappeared eventually. :S We kept looking behind us every few minutes after that in case the momok man decided to make a reappearance. I was actually a little scared for a minute cos no one knew where we were and we didn't know anyone there and you have to cross a damn river to get back to the city.

We kept walking and walking and walking and partially dying of heat stroke but still couldn't find the Margarita Fort despite asking for directions a couple of times. Finally a security guard told us where to go but there were creepy looking indonesian workers at a construction site we had to pass by who started smiling and whistling at us and that place was pretty secluded and we didn't want to risk possibly getting kidnapped so we turned around and sat down on the pavement. Decided to sit there for a while before heading back to the city.

An approaching car slowed down behind us so we stood up and quickly walked away but then realized he slowed down to pick his friend up. We're not perasan okay, we're just paranoid. Haven't you ever heard of news reports of 4 men jumping out of a car and grabbing girls and the next thing you know, those girls bodies are found in pieces in bags behind the bushes? And its not like malaysian police ever find the murderers. I dont know about you but I'd be really pissed off if my murderer got off scot free.

Went to Rupert Rage after that. Its a really cool skate shop. The guys working there usually intimidate me cos they know so much about skating and about bands, I tend to feel like kind of a loser but they talked to me today and they're actually really funny. They're really loud too. They're constantly yelling profanities at each other and were repeating "we have emo, froddo, and speedo" which made them all crack up with laughter every single time. HAHAH.

Wandered around the city after that. Oh, and of course Ray and I almost got run over by cars numerous times as usual since we both dont know how to cross roads. We literally run across roads screaming. Decided to call it a day when we were all complaining that our feet were almost going numb.

2009-11-19T12:00:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUKESH KUMAR!

You're one of the funniest, coolest and undoubtedly awesomest people I know.

And one of the weirdest too but thats why I like you so much.

I cant wait to get my cardboard box so we can be box buddies.

I'm installing a disco ball in it and the two of us shall party.

Have an awesome day, eat cake and get drunk.

Puchella less than threes you, Yucks.

2009-11-09T18:23:00.002+08:00

*sigh*

I'm kinda sad. No, I'm not kinda sad. I am sad. For a while, I finally got used to being happy. Should have known it wouldn't last. It never does.

I'm moving to KL next month. I know I've been saying that for the past 3 months but it's not my fault it keeps getting postponed. I think this time, we're moving for real cos even if it does get postponed, my mom said the both of us will have to move anyway cos I'll be starting school in january. Today was probably my last day in St.Teresa school cos I'm going to KL tomorrow for the holidays. I didn't want to go so early but plans got screwed up.

I suddenly want to study my form 5 in St.Teresa. I dont want to have to go to a new high school and make new friends and start all over again just for one more year of school. I dont hate St.Teresa anymore. The fact that its an all girls school doesn't annoy me anymore. I actually find it comforting now. It's going to feel so weird going to school with boys again.

The environment in St.Tre is so comfortable. Here, we get to hike up our baju kurung skirts above our knees when its hot, walk around with our pinafore zips hanging half open, change our clothes in class and so on. The girls here are so friendly and nice and more than willing to help with anything and they can all speak english well which is a really good thing for me cos my spoken BM sucks. Who would've thought the day would come when I actually praised St.Tre school? I used to despise it before.

The worst part about moving: leaving Phoebe, Ray, Theresa and Sara. No more being greeted by one of them yelling "Pucheng" every morning when I walk into class. No more copying off Phoebe's add maths homework. No more having Sara pretend to cry on my shoulder while Ray sings our soundtrack (Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Michael Buble). No more pretending to be apeks. No more Apek Liscence Test. No more countless inside jokes. No more laughs.

When I first moved here, I swore I wouldn't get attached to anyone cos I knew I'd have to leave again. That was all going according to plan until this year. I knew I'd have to make friends eventually which I obviously did but never did I expect to find best friends. I connect with these girls on every level possible. We can go from discussing religion and politics and music to pretending to be apeks and discussing the colour of our underwear.

Everytime I come across something funny or I receive news about something, the first thought that comes to mind is I have to tell the girls tomorrow at school. Who am I gonna tell all these things to now? I cant be coming online or texting everytime some random thought crosses my mind. If that were the case, I'd never be doing anything except typing for the rest of my life.

I haven't even left yet and I miss these girls already. The mere thought of going to school for a whole year without them makes me choke up.. Phoebe, Ray, Theresa, Sara, how the hell am I supposed to survive school without you next year? :'(

2009-10-31T22:00:00.005+08:00

Went to Ray's house yesterday around 12.00pm with the intention of helping her complete her overdue bio folio and her helping me complete my overdue chemistry folio. Had to call Phoebe 5 minutes after getting there cos neither of us even knew which experiments to write the reports on.

We got settled down at her desk, got our books out and I wrote sentence on my paper then Ray showed me Kane's (her adorable, half american, 4 year old cousin) photo album. After going through that, Ray and I started talking about the toys we played with as kids which led Ray to bring out a few of her old barbie dolls.

We got our creative juices and decided to give them a make-over. We cut and highlighted their hair and drew heavy make-up on them with magic markers and gel pens. We made them over according to stereotypes, a punk (which actually looked pretty cool), a slut (which looked like she had major sun burn cos I smudged light pink ink all over her face) and a goth (which ended up looking a psycho run-away bride who had been crying with make-up running down her face).

After that, Ray and I wanted to go to The Spring (it's a mall btw) to go watch a movie but there was no one to send us. The Spring is kinda close to Ray's house so we walked even though it was raining. Ray decided to do the rain dance where she twirled the umbrella, started skipping and twirling and singing like those over-happy people in old musicals. Both of us almost fell a few times and I almost pushed Ray into a huge deep drain. We kept bumping into each other and kept trying to avoid getting splashed with water by cars passing by and freaked out everytime we had to cross the road cos both of us are afraid of crossing roads. People on the street and in almost every car that passed by stared at us.

By the time we got The Spring, we were drenched from the knees down. Our shoes were so wet that every step we took, water would squirt out. Got inside the mall to find it in semi-darkness. There was some technical breakdown so the electricity was out and the only lights on were the back up generators. No electricity meant the cinema wouldn't be open. Ray and I wanted to kill ourselves at that point. All that trouble and then this happens. Many of the stores were still open though so we went to eat. Halfway through our meal, the electricity came back on.

Lights come back on.
Ray: *pumps fist into the the air* "Hoozah!" (inside thing)

We tried to get dry under the hand dryer in the bathroom but that was kinda hard so we just took off our shoes, put them in a plastic bag and walked around barefoot. Our jeans were covering half our feet so it wasn't as obvious but we still got a few strange looks. We tried to hold every persons gaze who passed by so they wouldn't look down and notice our feet which kinda worked but not really. Went to get our tickets for Jennifer's Body when we saw 3 girls from our school in the que next to ours at the ticket counter and Ray and I faced each other the whole time we were queuing up to avoid getting noticed by them.

We had one and a half hours to kill before the movie started so we went back to the bathroom and dried our shoes under the hand dryer. After almost an hour, we got them dry but not without everyone who came into the bathroom looking at us like we were homeless retards. Went to get ice cream form Just Desserts. I tried almost every flavour they had before deciding on what to get. The lady behind the counter was not happy about that.

After walking around (with our shoes on this time) for a while, went to watch the movie and dropped Ray home after that. I went over to Ray's with the intention of completing my school work this morning and came home with only one sentence written. For some reason, Ray and I always get ourselves into insane situations everytime we go out.

2009-10-30T21:04:00.006+08:00

I. am. so. freaking. sad. :(

I had to get my laptop reformatted but my files couldn't be backed up so I lost every single file in my computer. Pictures, videos, music - all gone! What the fuck laaaa? I hate technology.

Instead of using facebook and twitter, we should all just live in some hut together with all our friends and family and sing kumbaya by the fire every night. That way, we wouldn't need social networks to stay in touch and wont feel heartsick when hundreds of songs you downloaded get deleted cos the only damn song we know is kumbaya. Wtf does kumbaya mean anyway?

On or more cheery note, school was hilarious today, as usual. Sara was absent so it was just Theresa, Phoebe, Ray and me today.

After recess, we were all playing kiddy games. Phoebe decided to play 'Mafia'. I used to play this in my pd school back in form 1 except we called it killer there. It's where everyone gets a piece of paper with 'citizen' written on it but one of the papers will have 'mafia' written on it. Whoever gets the mafia paper has to discretely wink at the others and if you get winked at, you die and the others have to guess who the mafia is.

Phoebe: *places the folded up pieces of paper on the desk*
Me: *takes the one in front of Ray*
Ray: *takes the one on front of me*
Me: "you know, maybe it was destiny that put our papers in front of us and we took each others. we just switched our destiny, we just changed the future!"
Ray: "whoa! what does your destiny say?"

After that, we kept calling it the destiny game and everytime Phoebe placed the papers on the desks, we'd all go crazy and scramble for them, trying to take each others, screaming "my destiny! my destiny!" We started messing about after that. I kept winking at everyone even though I wasn't the mafia and Phoebe kept yelling "you liar!", then we'd have to start all over again. HAHAH.

After we got bored of mafia, we played truth or dare. Instead of just using a regular pen or something like any other student would, we attached two highlighters by the caps and used that as the spinner which didn't really work out cos the highlighters kept coming apart and flying off the table everytime we spun it. Not to mention, it's impossible to play truth or dare with us cos we kept cheating by blowing the spinner in someone else's direction if it pointed towards us or asking lame stupid questions like "have you ever waxed your pubic hair?" We already know everything about each other, there was nothing to ask.

After we gave up on truth or dare, I spotted these baskets that the juniors who used our class in the afternoon session had woven out of coloured paper for art. So, I grabbed one and stuck on my head like a hat and had the brilliant idea to create a new game. Everyone did a ridiculous dance while balancing the baskets on their heads and if the basket falls, you lose. So we played that and I swear we were laughing like hyenas on weed.

Went to church this morning for St. Teresa's feast day cos our school is named after her. St. Jo boys didn't go so it was all girls. The St. Tre primary school girls sang the hymns pretty loud, it was so cute to listen to their kiddy voices. I like that St. Tre and St. Jo schools make their students go to church every first friday of the month and on Christian occasions. Its actually cool, everything is run by students and the whole cathedral is filled with students only so all around you see people in school uniforms. It doesn't hurt that lessons are cut to 25 minutes per period for the rest of the day to make it in time to go home by 12pm either.

Father Albert was walking around church talking to students after mass and showing everyone the peace sign with both hands. He saw me and said "Michelle, my dear! I told him I was moving and he went into full prayer mode, praying that everything goes well and gave me a hug. He's a nice white man. Oh, he’s dutch by the way.

Random;

Ray and Theresa pretend to be married and Sara (flower fass / ah fass) is their kid.
Ray: "ah fass ah, you know you are not apek like your parents you know."
Sara: "then?"
Ray: "you are adopted. you are actually a bangla."
Sara: *turns to Theresa* "mommy, daddy say I'm a bangla."

Making fun of our maths teacher's fake lashes.
Ray: "I think she can hear us. don't L-A-U-G-H."
Me: "you know, she can spell right? she's a teacher."
Ray: "S-H-I-T!"

Ray: *discretely draws a cute pig's face on Phoebe's and my arm*
Me: "what the-"
Ray: "you have just been porked!"

2009-10-25T13:02:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAYNE ANDREW ESPECKERMAN!
You are one of the fun-est and funniest people I know and
always manage to make me laugh without even trying.
We're staying friends forever even if you dont want to.
We can finally go steal those alcoholic milkshakes
you're always talking about since you're legal now.
Have a freaking awesome legal 18th birthday.
Your Babypuke looooves you, Peanut!

2009-10-22T20:06:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHANA!
Have an awesome sweet 16.
See you in november, babe!

I got confirmed! To my non-catholic blog readers (I talk as if I have a million followers), confirmation is this just this church ceremony you have to do as a teenager where the dress code is all white making us look like the pure innocent angels we're not.

Ray and I needed to go the toilet 5 minutes before church began, so we had to run. So there we were, running across the huge church parking lot in our all white attire, my skirt flying around my knees, giggling like little girls. We looked like we were running away from our own wedding. We were dressed in all white right down to our underwear. Ray and I promised each other we'd wear white undies. HAHAH.

For confirmation, the bishop holds mass instead of the usual priest and he has to wear this tall pointy hat which I couldn't take my eyes off. I was resisting the urge to run up to the altar, grab it off his head and put it on. Ray was sitting behind me and I knew she was thinking the same thing too. After mass, instead of congratulating each other, the first thing we talked about was the hat.

You know what? This happened in august which was 2 months ago so I can't really remember anymore. Rachel is pretty much never going to give me the confirmation pictures so just decided to get the post over with.

Random;
Me: "you know I'm so easily influenced."
Rachel: "in what way?"
Me: "I was watching the history channel and it made me wanna study sejarah."
Rachel: "well-"
Me: "then I was watching this medical show, Second Opinion with Dr. Oz which I am now obsessed with by the way, and it made me wanna study bio."
Rachel: "so what did you study in the end?"
Me: "oh, I didnt study. I went on facebook instead."

2009-10-21T20:15:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSHUA DARAN!
Stop being stuck up and keep in touch okay?
Kidding. I miss you and your funny laugh.
Hope you had an awesome day.

No studying at school today. Theresa and Phoebe skipped school so it was just Ray, Sara and me. We acted like complete idiots as usual. You know how when you're a kid, you make up your own games where you pretend to live a grown up life and you pretend to go to work and all. Well, today I realized that my friends and I still do that except in a really retarded way. Ray and I pretended to be apek chinese hairdressers and manicurists while Sara was a british tourist customer and we gave her hell. It was hilarious.

Random;

Pretending to be a chinese apek hairdresser with customer.
Me: "ok amoi, lu mau potong rambut berapa panjang?"
Sara: "just a little bit. about an inch or so."
Me: "ok, botak ah? ah, ok."
Sara: *waves hands frantically* "no! no! no! just-"
Me: "aiyoh, sudah potong oh. banyak cantik botak oh."

Me: "miss ah, lu mau dye rambut warna apa?"
Sara: "just a light brown."
Me: "mau dye pink dan hijau ah? ok."
Sara: "no! no! no! I said-"
Me: "hwah! baaanyak cantik lu punya rambut pink kaler oh."

Me: wei, lu pegi oder itu dim sum.
Sara: *in british accent* "you eat a lot of pork?"
Me: "cina maaa. number one babi fan."
Sara: *dies laughing*

MSN convo with Roisin and Sasha.
Roisin: I'm gonna die guys. I'm gonna be stuck in hell while they poke me with sharp things.
Me: ooooo, can I have your bed? (Roisin's bed is this woven rattan thing, its cool).
Roisin: yes, you can.
Sasha: I'm gonna miss you, Ro. I love you so much. I love you like how I love my guitar and I'll miss you like how I miss starbucks. (sasha is obsessed with her guitar and starbucks).
Roisin: AWWW!
Me: umm.. umm.. umm.. I like your bed :)
Roisin: HAHAHAH. I love you too, Michelle.
Sasha: WTF?! She just likes your bed and she gets the love?!

2009-10-19T12:49:00.003+08:00

Hello, I'm sick.

I skipped school today meaning I skipped my biology exam. I love bio but I didn't study so its a good thing mom and I had to run in the rain from our car to church on saturday evening, making me sick so I dont have to sit for my bio exam. I have my EST exam on thursday which is my last paper and then freedom!

Well, not really, I'm actually gonna study really hard after exams and during the school holidays. I have a lot of catching up to do as a result of not paying attention in class after chapter 2 for every subject except for modern maths and add maths cos my teacher is scary. Even then, I didnt really pay attention, I just pretended to which is probably why I've failed add maths throughout the year. Yeah, this is what I get for constantly yakking away with the girls and acting out stupid chinese opera scenes with Ray and doing pretty much anything that would get us laughing instead of solving equations.

So, I think I have pets. There were 3 kittens and their mom (who I named The Bitch Cat at first cos she hissed at me when I tried to pet her kittens even though I gave her food) who were living behind my house. After a while, they got more friendly with me and then my mom started liking them so we give them food and they've never left my backyard since. We dont even really have names for them. We just call the mom cat 'Mommy Cat', the orangey-brown kitten 'Ginger', the black kitten 'Blackie' (but I call him 'Oreo' cos he's black and white) and the scared kitten who's always running away 'the scared one'. HAHAH. Oh, the mommy cat died though. A stray dog killed her so the poor kittens have no mom now. I can't believe I typed a whole paragraph about cats.

So... yeah, I dont have anything left to say. Will update about my confirmation when Ray sends me the pictures. Ray, some time before I'm 80 would be nice.

Random;

Me: "maybe I should name the black and white kitten Michael Jackson cos he's black on top and white underneath."
Ray: "uh, dude, Michael Jackson was the other way around."
Me: "oh, right."

Me: "we gave the cats food one day and they keep coming back for more."
Sara: "just like my aunty Mala."
Me: *dies laughing*

2009-10-01T16:02:00.011+08:00

Happy Birthday, Charmaine !

I remember how we first met at Pn. Tengku's science tuition. I remember you spending the night in my hotel room in Ipoh after UPSR results were out, eating Pizza and talking about what our parents were giving us for getting straight As while my parents were away at some ball. I remember always walking around the school with you and Keshia everyday and how we always had a group prayer every morning before exams with Joshua as our priest. HAHAH. Ain't it funny how we clicked so easily and started out really close when we had just become friends in primary school and slowly drifted apart after a few years of friendship? Even after our stupid petty fights in form 1, even though we've both moved away from the small town we became friends in and are currently living in different continents, I'm glad we're still friends. I hope we can regain the friendship we had before all the high school drama got between us. I love you and I hope you had an awesome sweet 16.

2009-09-27T12:45:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't blogged in a looong time. Okay, it wasn't that long. Will update about my confirmation (yes, I got confirmed!) and everything else as soon as I get the pictures from Ray. Starting tomorrow, I'm only going to go online on weekends which is going to be very very difficult because I have an addiction to facebook and I'm not exaggerating. I honestly think I might be kind of addicted to the internet.

Random;

MSN chat.
Me: maybe one you'll be famous.
Barry: I'll pray for that. and that those who are lost will be found. just like Jesus did with the 99 sheep. alamak, preaching pulak!
Me: HAHAHAH!

Facebook chat.
Shayne: I'll buy you mint ice cream.
Me: I like mint ice cream. its so... minty.
Shayne: yeah, like.... frozen toothpaste.
Me: HAHAHAH!

At school, during class.
*pretending to be in Sweden*
Phoebe: "we're in Sweden! lets speak swedish."
Me: "Guten morgen. thats german for good morning!"
Phoebe: "I said swedish!"

At school, during class.
*teacher writing objective answers on the whiteboard*
Phoebe: "people cheat in exams by making sentences out of the answers you know."
Me: "like how?"
Phoebe: "see the answers are DDCBABADD right? so I'll make it umm.. donkey drive camel before adam but adam drive donkey"
Me: "HAHAHAHAH! Phoby, dont ever try to cheat."

At school, during class.
*Tia was presenting her oral exam speech and she kept flipping her hair with her hand.*
Me: "lets count how many times she flips her hair."
Phoebe: "1, 2, 3...."
Me: "you know how we might have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), maybe she has obsessive compulsive hair disorder. O-C-H. och!"
Phoebe: HAHAHAH! prounounce it how its spelled. och."
Me: "Tia, you know you flipped your hair 14 times during your oral."
Tia: "really?"
Me: "yeah, we counted. I think you have obsessive compulsive hair disorder. O-C-H, och!"
Phoebe: "we can cure you by pulling out all your hair."
Tia: "its ok, I'll live with och."

2009-09-05T14:04:00.001+08:00

It was my birthday yesterday. Phoebe, Ray and Theresa made me this shirt with 'the loudest noise comes from the electric Michelle' painted on it with fabric paint. I like it so much more than any store bought gift cos it actually means something and the slogan couldn't describe me any better. I may be a little bit on the quite side when I first meet certain people but once I start to get comfortable with people, I can be pretty damn loud and I just babble on about random insignificant things that pop into my mind and its usually around this time that people want to tape over my mouth with duct tape or just think I'm a complete weirdo.

Okay, running off topic.

At school, Ani yelled "Michelle, happy birthday!" to me from all the way at the front of the class and then Crystal, Therese and Felicia all turned around and wished me happy birthday in unison with these giant grins on their faces. It was so cute and funny. Then the whole class sang me happy birthday. They do that everytime its someone's birthday.

I pretended to be an angry chipmunk at war today, using Theresa's 1.5 litre Sprite bottle as my gun and screaming in my best chipmunk voice. Dont ask. Christina, Gladie and Ethel are obsessed with the two huge flags that were hung up in our class for merdeka. Day before yesterday, they tied the flags around Christina, making it look like bikini and Christina was pulling the flag above her chest, pretending to flash them. She was wearing her school uniform underneath though. HAHAH. Yesterday, Christina found a box with both ends open and put her head through it while Ann Marie tied the flag over the box. Then Gladie stood under the flag behind Christina and pretended to do that chinese lion dance. Christina was bobbing her head from side to side and flipping the lid of the box to make it look like the lions mouth and they were bouncing all over the place. It was hilarious!

I like Hotlink. All calls I made yesterday were free cos it was my birthday. I spent over an hour on the phone with Carl talking in an apek accent and he was talking in a macha accent. We were discussing business. We're planning to open a mechanic shop called 'Apek and Macha'. HAHAH.

2009-09-04T15:38:00.003+08:00

Whats so sweet about turning 16 ?

2009-09-01T00:32:00.012+08:00

I miss the past so much right now, it almost hurts.

Even though that small beach town was full of gossip, backstabbing and pathetic fights, I really miss living in PD. I miss my friends. Every single one of them. I miss my school.

So far, 2006 was definitely the best year out of all my 16 years of living. I was in form 1 and I miss my 1A10 days soooo much. I even miss how STPD was probably the only school who numbered their classes backwards where #A10 was the first class and #A1 was the last. I miss seeing those same faces every morning. How we all used to gather at someone's desk in class before school started, copying each others homework cos we didnt complete ours the night before while talking and telling ridiculous stories.

I miss listening to the class erupt in laughter because one of the boys made a silly comment or joke. I miss how someone in the class would say "boo sama (insert name here)" and everyone would go "boooo" and how during exams, someone would go "diamlah (insert name here)" and it would carry on like a chain. I even kinda miss Low teasing me about 007 (inside joke).

I miss those little sketches we used to do for english literature and how our sejarah teacher who pronounced my name as 'meetchel' always started off our sejarah class with a verbal quiz and not allowing us to sit until we answered a question right and how we all used to imitate our old science teacher whose command of english was atrocious.

I miss those daily after school sessions where we sat around eating junk food bought from the van outside the school and talking as the boys ran around whipping each other with their ties while waiting to be picked up by our parents. I remember asking Hasvin for some of his chips every day even though I knew it was gonna be a tough task. He was so stingy about his chips back then. HAHAH. I miss the silly things Joshua Daran used to say which never failed to make Carol and I laugh and I miss talking to Joshua D.Louis under the tree everyday.

I remember how insanely crowded the canteen used to be during recess and how the ques were endless. The girls and I used to buy those juices with aloe vera bits in it from the vending machine almost every day and always checked each others teeth because the juice would stain our teeth.

I remember how the form 4 kids used the 'popular' kids back then and it was a cool thing to be friends with a senior. Their all off at college now. I wonder if they all stayed friends up to now. I sure as hell hope my friends and I dont drift any further than we already have. I still love them the same as back then.

I miss how everyone used to be. I dont like how everyone's changed so much, myself included. Even though we've matured in certain ways for the better, there are a few things I wish wouldnt change. I miss the old us. Not just my '1A10 gang' as we used to call ourselves but I miss everyone I knew from STPD.

Even you. Just like everyone else, you've changed so much. Now you're all about acting 'cool' and cocky. I miss the old you, the nice you. The you who used to talk to me all the time. I miss your old hair and your old laugh. I miss how you used to laugh at my lame jokes instead of just saying "ookaaaay" like you do now. Most of all I miss your old smile. Your real genuine boyish smile. I hardly see it anymore.

Those were just a few of the countless memories I have from my old high school. As eager as I am to graduate high school and not have to sit for school exams and abide ridiculous school rules, I really want to go back to form 1 in STPD.

Times have changed and so have you.

2009-08-30T15:10:00.022+08:00

Helloooo.

School holidays were on this whole week. Didnt really do much apart from the sleepover on thursday. Ray, Phoebe, Theresa and Sara were supposed to stay over at my place but Sara couldnt sleep over so she just spent the day with us.

Went to go pick Ray up around 1pm. My usual driver knows where her house is since I've sent her home quite a few times but I was using my mom's driver this time who didn't know where her house was and even though I was in the car with Ray every time I sent her home, I couldn't find her house. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm terrible at directions. We ended up on the opposite side of town even though Ray was on the phone guiding me. Yes, if Michelle is giving you directions on the road, you will get lost.

Finally found her house after over half an hour. Went to the mall and met up with Phoebe, Theresa and Sara. There's a new floor which had a manicure shop with this computer thing that can print pictures on your nails. I only did one nail. I got a black butterfly printed on the nail of my middle finger so I kept flipping the girls off the whole day. The manicurist was very amused by me. Ray got a pig printed on her nail. She's kind of obsessed with pigs.

There's this video game shop about 5 feet away from us and they were letting these two guys play Guitar Hero. One of them was playing the guitar and the other was singing and ohmyGod, it was bad. The thing is he wouldn't stop singing and he didnt know all the lyrics. It was pretty funny. His singing kept all of us entertained while waiting for the computer to print pictures on our nails. Spent the rest of the day walking around, trying on dresses in the dressing rooms and just goofing off. We initially planned on trying the ugliest outfits we could find but everyone ended up grabbing pretty dresses and thats when the camwhoring started. Cant be arsed to upload all the pictures though.

Got home around 7pm+. After our showers, while waiting for Phoebe and Theresa to get dressed, Ray and I went out on my roof and started ball room dancing. We suck. We kept knocking into each other and stepping on each other's feet. Phoebe and Theresa joined us later and we pretty much looked like the bunch of retards we truly are. Try and imagine four girls in their pjs and boxers dancing, singing, jumping and basically going crazy on a roof. HAHAH.

The following pictures are all candid by the way.

trying to start a conga line.

Ray and I were skating in my hallway and trying really hard not to knock into each other while Theresa and Phoebe went online and watched videos on youtube after that. I showed the girls the video of Kyren singing. He came online a few minutes later.

Kyren: ola sexy
Me: hey you! I showed my friends your vid
Kyren: my vid ?
Me: the one of you singing
Kyren: aiyo
Me: lol. your really gooood! they think so too.
Kyren: malu aku.... now tell em I'm hot. and single.
Me: HAHAH
Kyren: what they say?
Me: their response was *silence*
Kyren: damn.. I blame the jews

HAHAH. aint Kyren funny ?

Made microwave popcorn after that. Guess what ? We didn't screw it up! Actually we kinda did when we added butter and too much sugar so it tasted kinda yucky. Watched The Hangover and 21 after that. When we got bored of watching movies, we prank called Kenaidy. We spoke chinese apek accents. We knew that he figured it was a prank call but he was a real sweetheart about it and played along anyway. He thought we were his aunty.

We started skating in my tv room and just going insane after that. I found this this model of a gun which I am not supposed to mess with but I played with it anyway since my parents were in KL. I was rolling all over the floor pretending to be a secret agent. I wanna be a secret agent when I grow up now. :D

We wanted to roast marshmallows so I melted chocolate in the microwave and guess what ? It got burnt ! Smoke filled the kitchen and you could smell it all the way in the tv room. I'm wasn't surprised. I freaked out but I wasn't surprised. I've burnt things in the microwave countless times. Like I've said before, I'm a disaster on legs in the kitchen. Good thing we had leftover chocolate so we were really careful the second time.

Went outside to the patio in my backyard and sat on the floor so that it would seem like a camp fire and all except it was just a candle instead of a bonfire. I knew it would be bad idea to try to start an actual bonfire so we just lit one candle. It worked though. It was my first time roasting marshmallows. Click here to watch the video.

We wanted to go watch the sunrise so we went back up on the roof. Once we got up, we realized none of us remembered which the side the sun rises on and we couldnt remember which side was west or east. After trying to look for the damn sun for a few minutes, we started talking about pushing Phoebe off the roof and completely forgot about the sun rise. HAHAH.

Went downstairs and walked around the outside of my house. Tried to catch fish from my pond. No luck. Then we tried looking for the kittens who live behind my house. We only found their mother who hisses at me even though I gave her and her stupid kittens food once. I hate that damn cat now. Ungrateful bitch of a cat.

Had breakfast and planned on watching a movie but we got tired so we finally went to bed around 9am. We were supposed to wake up by 10am but ended up sleeping til 1pm. Woke up, showered, got dressed and had lunch. We walked to the playground near my house in the blazing afternoon heat, then walked back after about 10 minutes cos we got bored.

'dancing' on the roof at 5am.

trying to catch fish at 6am. hahah.

Got the driver to drop us off at the mall again around 4pm cos thats where their parents were picking them up. Walked around for a bit and went to the ground floor. Phoebe and Ray were carrying their skateboards so I started skating since we had nothing to do while waiting for our rides.

If you're a skater, you'd know that its impossible to skate in malls cos of the damn security guards but surprisingly the security didn't stop me. Phobe said he actually looked amused watching me skate. Probably cos he was young and the ground floor is kind of empty.

A chinese guy walking with his friend suddenly came up to me and looked at my face which almost made me fall off my skateboard. Then this group of malay guys who were probably skaters walked in and were watching me skate which I didn't like cos it made me feel nervous and self-conscious.

would've looked cooler if I had shoes on.

Got home around 6pm and the house felt so quiet without the girls even though they were only here for one night. My sleep cycle is so messed up. I've been sleeping at 4am and waking up at 2pm for the past few days. I dont know how I'm gonna go to school tomorrow.

2009-08-24T17:35:00.009+08:00

Its been a while since I went looking for relief in pain. For some time, I forgot why I used to do so but I remember now. Twisted as it may sound, I find it comforting. I find it soothing.

It's more than apparent now no matter how close you are to someone, no matter how much you mean to them or how much they mean to you, they always find a way to hurt you and half the time, they dont even realize it. So why bother making anyone priority when they only make you an option ? If you believe that 'blood is thicker than water' thing, you should come meet my family. They'll prove to you how untrue that is when it comes to everyday situations.

Doesn't matter anymore. I'll just go back to the 'fuck you all' me. I'll go back to expecting the worst from people. I'll stop caring, I'll stop feeling. I'll stop giving a fuck. This way it's impossible to get hurt cos one day when someone decides to turn their back on you or hurt you which they never fail to do, it won't hurt as much cos you already saw it coming and you beat them to it. Being happy just isn't my thing I guess.

Then she closed her eyes,
found relief in a knife.

2009-08-21T19:45:00.003+08:00

I'm finally going to get the updates over with.

Before that, I dont blog just cos people read my blog. This is kind of like a diary to me. I refuse to actually own a diary cos I think writing in a diary is such a lame girly thing. When I think of diaries, I immediately picture a pink or purple book covered in flower or heart designs and girly stickers and I imagine the contents being something like 'dear diary, oh my gosh, (insert name here) is just soooo cute!' Blah ! *barf* I just hate all that girly girl stuff. My blog is just something to keep me from forgetting all my yesterdays and these memories I've made. Of course, I appreciate people reading my blog, I salute you all for actually finding the patience to read all my nonsensical musings.

Now that I think about it, I dont even have much to update about. -_-

For the past two days, Ray and I have been singing chinese opra during school. Yes, you read that right, chinese opra. It started with me singing that Cuti - Cuti Malaysia song. The only line I know is 'cuti cuti malaysiaaaa', so I basically kept repeating that in this high pitched opra voice and then I started singing chinese opra which I made Ray join me in. Neither of us know how to speak chinese so we're just randomly making up words and singing in ear piercing high pitched opra voices which - you would've guessed as much - sound atrocious. We act out scenes and rely on our facial expressions to differentiate between all the emotions we're trying to project since neither of us know what the hell we're singing. Its hilarious.

Phoebe brought a frog to school yesterday. A real, live frog. She found it in her kitchen and put it in a jar and brought to school to show us. Phoebe initially named him Ploppy The Froggy but we discovered he had gold eyes so we renamed him Ploppy Cullen. If you're a twilight fan, you'll know why. If you're an avid reader of my blog, you'll know by now how easily amused we all are so you can imagine how thrilled we were about the frog. Theresa seemed to have developed a somewhat creepy bond with the gross looking amphibian and got mad at anyone who bothered Ploppy. We let Ploppy free after school.

I went fishing just now. Yeap, out in the lake, relaxing on a boat with a fishing rod catching fish like a pro. Okay, thats a lie. It was more like me in my flip flops, squatting by the pond in my backyard with a net struggling to catch even one fish. I managed to catch four after about two hours. Theyre really tiny tho. Like the size of your pinky but its still an accomplishment okay. I named them Big Billy, Gala, Lilly and Vice President Moe. I put them in a jar, played with them for a while, got bored of them and threw back into the pond.

We're gonna be dissecting frogs next monday. All the girls are grossed out by the idea of slicing a frog open but I can't freaking wait ! My bio teacher told us we can also bring fish and cockroaches to dissect. Ray suggested we bring a corpse to dissect. We really wanna kill a hairy fat man and lay the corpse covered with a cloth on our table in the bio lab and when our teacher comes to us to see our experiment we're going to unveil the corpse and all go "TADAAA !" but I hear you can go to jail for murder so its just too big a risk to take. It would've been funny though.

My grandma on my moms side is coming tonight. She's the spending the weekend here with her friend and two other people I dont know.

I'm bored now. I think I spend too much time on facebook.

Random;
at school.
Me: *sings* "cuti cuti malaysiaaaaaa ! welcome to singapore 2007. sawadikap."
Phoebe: "what the hell. youre so messed up."

2009-08-20T20:37:00.004+08:00

Procrastination, procrastination.

I've been so lazy to blog lately and I know I dont have to if I dont want to but then it becomes this nagging thought at the back of my mind like unfinished homework... Which reminds me, I have my BM oral exam tomorrow and I havent even written my script yet. And I've barely even gotten a quarter of my moral project done. And I havent even started on my PSK project.................

I'm gonna go eat oreos and read about Blink 182's reunion now.

p/s: Travis Barker is miiiine. Yes, I'm aware he's 18 years older than me but look at the guy: heavily tattooed, pierced and a drummer. Sexay !

Goodbye(:

2009-08-14T17:00:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAROL !

(CNY at Lay's house in '07)
Carol, you are and always will be one my bestest friends in the whole wide world.
I can tell you anything and everything and can always be myself around you.
All our silly little secrets, bimbo moments, countless inside jokes and
ridiculous conversations and memories of us getting up to no good
prove we're made to be partners in crime since we're equally retarded.
We sure as hell better remain thisclose when we're old and wrinkly.
I hope you have an awesome sweet 16 and get everything you want.
P.S.: I should teach you the art of answering your phone.
Dont worry, its not as hard as it sounds. ;D

2009-08-13T20:25:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Apart from wednesday, I didnt and wont be going to school at all this week. I'm sick...................... Yaaaaay ! *runs around house with hands in the air* I mean, uh, *cough*

I was fine on monday and tuesday, I just didn't feel like going to school. We had exams last week so all they'll be doing the whole week is going through exam papers and the schools having some stupid merdeka celebration and activities for maths and science week.

I went to school on wednesday. I was feeling a little sick so asked Theresa for paracetamol. That girl is a walking pharmacy, I tell you. She's got one whole compartment in her bag filled with medicine. I am very pleased by this. For those who dont know me well, I'm obsessed with medicine. To most people, the bright side about being sick is the special attention and extra affection they get from family. For me, the bright side is gulping pills ! I aint no junkie okay. The meds dont make me high. I just love being medicated. Its one of those traits of mine that cause me to labelled a complete weirdo.

I went to the army clinic around noon. Apart from the many soldiers who stare at you like you're a piece of meat, army clinics are awesome cos we don't have to wait. I just tell them who my dad is, and I'm sent straight to the doctor no matter how long other patients have been waiting.

Dr. Devan is awesome. Not only is he the best doctor I've ever had but he arranged for me to get two injections. Yes, I happen to FUCKING LOVE injections. Yes, another one of my strange traits. I got a blood test for swine flu which came out negative, okay. Then I got vaccinated for regular flu. The blood test was friggin awesome, I couldnt take my eyes of my blood flowing out. The nurse was sorta blocking my view during the vaccination so I didnt really get to see much ):

The nurses were teasing Dr. Devan when we walked in, asking him if I was his girlfriend. So weird. I know it sounds kinda gross teasing a middle aged man about dating a high school girl but Dr. Devan is young ok, he's in his twenties so thats why. I think they all have a little bit of crush on him. I was about to tell him that but then we started talking about trying to pack my friends with me when I move to KL. After he told them whose kid I was, every nurse that saw me said I look like my mom. I get that a lot.

Came home after that, lazed around the house for a while then followed mom to run errands. I've been bumming around the house since then. I have a feeling I'll be doing nothing but that all weekend. My arm is still sore from the vaccination. I can't even put pressure on it, it hurts. It's normal though. Not that I mind. Anything injection related is fine by me. (:

I'm now sitting in front of my laptop, bored out of my mind and literally craving another injection.

2009-08-03T20:23:00.016+08:00

EDIT// (added another video).

[previous posts deleted].

We're moving next month ! :S

I dont hate Sarawak anymore. I'm actually gonna miss it a little. Who am I gonna talk to in bahasa sarawak in kl ? Okay, okay, I know my bahasa sarawak sucks big time but still. I dont wanna forget it after struggling so hard to learn what little of it I know.

Nothing much to update on.

Went for Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS) over the weekend. Its similar to confirmation camp except in Sarawak, they dont do camps. It was just a seminar for 2 days but it was from morning til evening. I was so tired when I got home, I almost died on my couch.

Most of the kids there were form 3 since you get confirmed in form 3 here. They combined the sunday school, St. Teresa girls and St. Jo boys. Thank goodness I had Ray with me cos I barely know any of the juniors.

Form 4s had school on saturday and our English exam was later in the morning but Ray and I got to take it eeeearly in the morning cos we had to go for LSS. It was surprisingly fun. The band was amazing and so was the crowd. I didnt know there was christian rock music. I liiiike. Everyone was so enthusiastic, jumping along with the music as if we were at an actual rock concert or something. Especially the St. Jo boys who kept chanting "oi ! oi!" along with the music. Ray and I sat on the boys side on the first day since we were late and yelled "oi ! oi !" along with them. Fuuuun.

LSS completely erased any trace of doubt I had about God before this and baptism of the Holy Spirit was a beautiful life changing experience. Watching the kids' reactions, how they were crying so hard and fell to the ground just proves how powerful God is. I cant find words to express how truly amazing it all was.

I know this is all so hard to believe coming from me. People can call me a religious freak or whatever. Guess what ? I dont care. I'm privileged to be Catholic.

I know not many people will watch the videos but just watch it so I dont feel like I just wasted a kajillion years of my life uploading them.

2009-07-12T13:29:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday, Sasha KelapaTree !

(this picture was from 2006, man).

Have an awesome birthday and eat as much cake as you can.
Its the one day you can eat anything without feeling guilty.
I love how we're so comfortable around each other
and how insanely retarded we both are.
Your Koala loves you, Kelapa.

Random;

(While I was in KL, saw a man frying yu char kueh)
Me: "yu char kueh"
Jeremy: "you the char kueh !"

(online with Yukesh)
Me: I saw a shooting star the other day.
Yukesh: whoa. hahah.
Me: what ?
Yukesh: for some reason, I pictured a satay flying across the sky. it gave me a shock. had the kuah all.

(online with Sherene)
Me: I'll bring my duck !
Sher: we can eat it.
Me: no, you cant eat my duck ! poor, quackles.
Sher: you're right. what are we going to do with it ?
Me: I dont know.
Sher: LETS EAT IT.
Me: HAHAH. I know ! we can play 'duck duck goose' with it !
Sher: LMAO. we'll make it 'goose'.

Me: "I wanna bomb this school lah."
Phoebe: "chemistry lab is right next door."
Me: "potassium !"
Phoebe: "cyanide !"
Ray: "vinegar !"

2009-07-05T16:40:00.010+08:00

EDIT//

St. Teresa high school food and fun fair was yesterday. Yes, the carnival thats been pissing my friends and me off cos of all the stupid unnecessary donations they forced us to give. And guess what ? *whispers* I actually enjoyed it.

Okay, okay, I dont hate St. Teresa that much anymore. I'm not saying I like the school but I guess I dont hate it either. I need to stop being so fickle minded. How much you wanna bet I'm gonna hate it all over again in a week or two ? HAHAH.

I was on duty at 10am. My shift was from 10am to 12pm but I ended up working overtime til around 1.30pm with Ray since her shift was from 12pm - 2pm. It was pretty hectic. Theresa and I were trying to work as fast as those chinese hawker stall people cos so many people were queuing up to buy food from our stall. For some reason people really liked the keropok lekor.

I was handling the coupons and the keropok lekor the whole time. I was only serving customers of course. I didnt dare go near the stove. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm a disaster on legs when it comes to cooking. Some St. Jo boys were calling me 'Lekor Girl' and 'Coupon Girl'. HAHAH. St. Jo boys had school on that day but most of them cut school and attended our carnival instead so some of them got caught by their guard. He let them off the hook though.

Theresa and I have decided that we're not going to college. As soon as we graduate high school, we're going to have our own gerai and sell keropok lekor. We're calling it 'Coupon Girl's and Oreo's Lekor' (cos Theresa's obsessed with oreos).

The food fair was scheduled to end by 2pm so Ray and I quickly walked around before all the classes started closing their stalls. Ethel gave us food and drinks to go sell while we walk around. Hardly anyone wanted to buy by this time. Mr. S.O. (our sejarah teacher) and Kavan was nice enough to buy drinks from us though. Saw Mr. S.O wearing a straw hat, sitting in a corner peeling hundreds of corn which was quite a sight.

Me: "omg, Ray, Mr. S.O. is sitting alone peeling jagung !"
Ray: *in apek accent* "haiyoh, he wearing my hat oh."

Went upstairs to the hall where the games and body art were held and got a purple star painted on my face. I like. :D

Went to Crazee Causa and to The Spring with Ray after that. Everybody was staring at me cos of the star on my face. During lunch, there was a really tiny baby cockroach crawling on the table and neither one of us wanted to touch it so what do we do ? We poured soy sauce on it which we dripped all over the table and watched it drowned. Yes, we made quite a mess.

Goofed around in MPH. Between the secluded shelves of books, I sat on the floor in a fit of giggles, clinging to Ray's leg while she dragged me across the floor. HAHAH. I cant remember what we were doing or talking about but we were laughing til our eyes teared and stomachs ached.

come again? / searching poca hojon books (inside thing)

Ray got her ears pierced. She was so scared, she kept telling the shop assistant to stop every time she was about to pierce her. I wasnt much help either going "jeng jeng jeng".

Got home around 8 and was tired as hell which is weird cos I'm one of those people who can be up and running all day long and still have the energy to stay up all night doing anything.

not my best picture but I just wanted to show off my purple star :)
I know it was only body paint but yes, I liked it that much.

2009-06-14T12:08:00.087+08:00

Hello.

I know I've neglected my blog for 2 weeks but I was too busy having fun okay. :D

Before I start,

Remember when I said I dont hate St. Teresa high school anymore and I'm no longer anti-Sarawak ?
Fuck that ! Sarawak sucks and I have a not-so-secret wish that St. Teresa high school catches fire and burns to ashes.

Now, updates.

03/ 06/ 09
My flight to KL sucked. I was dead bored in the plane and the lady sitting next to me kept speaking to me in bidayuh cos she thought I was bidayuh. It felt weird seeing so many indians around once we landed cos I got used to how there are barely any indians in Sarawak.

Went to Chillis for dinner with the family that night and walked around Midvalley with Manda for a bit. Bumped into Ben and Zack who are still working at Rhapsody. Completely forgot they existed.

04/ 06/ 09
Met up with Sasha cos I was supposed to follow her back to PD. She came down to buy accessories for her camera. Went to Midvalley and Pavillion and got ogled by gross middle aged men and rempits.

Sasha: "where are we going ?"
Me: "Italiannies."
Sasha: "is it mexican ?"
Me: "DUDE ! eee-teh-lee-ah-nees."

I, Michelle Jeyabalan, took the KTM from KL Central to Seremban for the first time in my life. Thats right bitches, I felt so ghetto like I was from the hood cos I'm gangsterrr like that yo. I know, I know, I suck at acting all hip hop. People cringe whenever I try to be hip hop. Of course Sasha and her mom were with me or I would've definitely gotten lost.

Roisin stayed over at Sasha's place too. I was so happy to see that little creature. Spent the rest of the night talking and eating A&W which I hadnt eaten in years.

05/06/09
Roisin and I tagged along for Sasha's guitar lesson at Yamaha. Walked around for a while and then went to a mamak shop which I hadn't been to in almost half a year.

candid. HAHAH. notice the man behind is staring at me funny.

Sasha, Roisin and I went to The Store and played pool cos we were so bored. I of course, sucked big time. Sasha's friend, Daniel picked us up an hour later and we went to Secret Recipe with Aina and Athirah. Daniel dropped us back at Sasha's place after.

We walked to the beach in the evening and cars that passed by were honking their horns. Have they never seen girls in shorts before ? So pathetic. Waded in the water for a while and this group of malay boys were teasing us and asked for our numbers. We obviously said no. James and Maharaj were supposed to go jogging on the beach but they came holding their car keys instead. HAHAH. James drove us back and the boy is not a very safe driver. No offense, James. :)

Roisin had to go home. So it was just Sasha and I that night. She wanted to test her new camera equipment so she made me model for her which was quite amusing cos her flash kept flashing at the wrong time. HAHAH.

06/ 06/ 09 + 07/ 06/ 09
Sasha and Roisin wanted to watch the footsal tournament cos Maharaj, Tek Nan, Hasvin, Low, Shailesh, and all the boys were playing so I didnt mind tagging along. The place was hot and stuffy and packed with sweaty footsal players. Usually, this would be a good thing but the players werent exactly good looking so I just pretended not to hear every time one of them asked for our names.

Went to the bus station to get a cab but ended up sitting there watching Mix and his crew break dance.

I found it so funny how there were break dancers on
one side and these old chinese men on the other side.

The sexy apeks.

We went to the yatch club after that. We were supposed to hang out with the boys but they were only coming later and we bumped into Shayne, Shana, Kyren and Leela. First time meeting Kyren and Leela. They're awesome. :D

Met Shaynes friends, Shamita, Thejas and Jai but they were only there for a few hours. Had lunch together and we all pretty much stuck together the whole day. Janus came a little later. I had no idea he was friends with Shayne and all. Sasha brought her guitar which Kyren and Janus didn't stop playing. They're pretty good though.

Shana, Shamita, Leela.

front: Shamita and Thejas.
back: Roisin, Me, Sasha, Kyren, Leela.

Shana, Sasha, Leela, Me, Roisin.

Thejas, Jai, Shana, Kyren, Leela, Me, Sasha, Shayne, Roisin.

Me, Janus, Sasha.

Janus and Sasha.

Shayne, Me, Leela, Roisin, Kyren, Shana.

Leela, Shayne, Me.

Everyone decided last minute to go swimming in the sea in the evening. I didnt swim so I hung out with Low, Shailesh, Jacob, Joshua, Maharaj, Jeannette and her siblings.

Jacob.

Janus and Sasha.

freezing.

Jacob and Carol.

Finally saw Carol as we were heading in to shower. She's so skinny now, it worries me. Had dinner which took forever. We had to ask for water 4 times before the waitress finally brought it and they brought our food without any cutlery. We all just used each others forks and spoons when one of us was done eating cos if we asked for it, we'd probably only get it the next day. I dont understand why the service at the yatch club is so slow.

Games room.

Shaun, Leela, Roisin.

Went to the beach after that. We thought we saw something supernatural floating far away in the water which sent us all running and screaming when it started to get closer but it turned out to be two chinese people. HAHAH. I took Janus's trucker cap so Kyren and I walked along the beach while he played the guitar and I asked people for money. We didnt get a single cent. Stingy small town people. -_-

Janus and Sasha.

All of us went to the playground after that. Shayne and I were trying to do some Hannah Montana dance with Jeannette. We obviously sucked but it was funny. Then Shayne decided he wanted to be a bunny and started hopping around, using leaves as bunny ears. HAHAH.

Shayne the giant bunny. HAHAH.

Shaun, Andre, Kyren, Leela, Nikki.

Shaun, Garret, Jeannette, Leela, Deedee.

Sasha. Me.

Candid.

Last minute, we decided to stay over at Shayne's apartment. Ended up not sleeping the whole night. Roisin and I kept saying good night to everyone over and over everytime we thought we were about to sleep but we all ended up giggling 30 seconds later every single time.

Roisin: "good night everyone, I love you."
(she said that about 400 hundred times).

Me: "good night, peanut."
Shayne: .......
Me: "good night, peanut."
Shayne: .......
Me: *wakes Shayne up* "PEANUT ! SAY GOOD NIGHT !"

Madonnas / Plattapussy (inside joke).

At around 3am, while Kyren was busy serenading Sasha and Roisin with his guitar playing, Shana, Leela and I sat on the balcony. Had a major bitching session and girl talked. I dont make it a habbit to bitch about people. I stopped doing that after form 1 but that night it was as if the flood gates opened. Roisin joined us after a while and we closed the sliding door, refusing to let the boys out.

Stayed up the whole night talking and giggling. Shaun, Kyren, Roisin and I went out on the balcony to watch the sunrise. None of us could remember if the sun rises on the east or west. Was out there for about half an hour. Turns out the balcony wasnt even facing the sunrise. HAHAH

Went back inside, hoping to catch at least an hour of sleep but Kyren and I ended up talking. He showed me how to strangle someone and how to do E. I know, what a positive influence he is. He let me poke his adams apple. Yes, hes awesome like that.

Me, Kyren, Shayne.
notice how Kyren is wearing Sasha's bikini top. HAHAH.

Shayne.

Roisin's and Sasha's parents didnt know they were sleeping over at Shayne's so we had to rush back around 8am. Daniel and his cousin was nice enough to pick us up and drive us back to Sasha's house. Thank you, Daniel. :D

Met up with everyone at the Yatch Club for lunch later. Was exhausted after not getting even one second of sleep the night before. Maharaj and I walked to the shops across the street cos Roisin and Sasha wanted Red Bull. Maharaj literally wouldnt let go of my arm cos I was about to run across the road.

Yes, I'm 16 and I still dont know how to cross roads. If I'm on my own, I just run across the road and hope for the best. I kept asking Maharaj "do we run now ? do we run now ?" but he just grabbed my arm and refused to let me run. 5 minutes later, Maharaj got a text from some unknown number saying 'I saw you pulling your girlfriend by the road.' Thats PD for you.

Maharaj, Janus, Sasha.

Hung around the play ground for a while and Sasha finally got to do her photoshoot thing for her photography competition. Photos are still with Sasha. Will upload I get them. Shayne, Shana, Kyren, Leela went back to KL in the afternoon. Janus went back a few hours after.

Hung out with Sasha, Roisin, Carol, Maharaj, Lina, Faiz and Amirul til the evening. I used to see Amirul around STPD but I'd never spoken to him until that day. He's nice. :)

Went back to Sasha's in the evening. Roisin couldnt stay over cos Sasha's and Roisin's parents found out they lied about sleeping over at Shayne's and they were obviously not very happy. They sorted everything out and it was all cool afterwards. Sasha and I went to Lina's house later that night for an hour and then finally went to sleep. By this point, I was running on absolutely no sleep for 48 hours.

08/ 06/ 09
Sasha and I were bored out of our minds so we went to The Store to play pool since Amirul and Faiz were there. Had lunch with them and bumped into Shafiq 1 (met two Shafiqs so I named them Shafiq 1 and Shafiq 2). Like Amirul, I used to see Shafiq 1 around STPD when I was studying there but never spoke to him. He was teaching me how to play pool. It was Shafiq 1 and I against Sasha and Amirul. Can you imagine, Shafiq 1 is seriously awesome at playing pool but we lost all because of me. Thats how badly I suck. Sorry, ShafiqBanana. Sasha and Faiz played after that. Faiz was all over the table, lying on it and doing everything he could to get the ball in. HAHAH. Met up with Roisin and Bell as well but Bell went to go see her boyfriend Dinesh after a while.

Walked around with the boys before they took us to the only park in PD which I have never been to. Left after 30 seconds cos Shafiq 1's family was there so we went to this random spot by the sea instead. I love having friends who can drive. Shafiq 1 taught me how to drive and I can confidently say I am the worst driver in all of Port Dickson and probably Malaysia. I kept jamming on the breaks which caused Shafiq 1 to hit his head against the windshield about 400 times. The second time round, Sasha and Roisin hopped into the back seat and the boys took a video of Sasha, Roisin and Shafiq 1's 'last moments on earth' thanks to my driving. So mean. HAHAH. I brought them all back alive okay ! Although Shafiq 1 might have internal bleeding and possible brain damage cos of me. Sorry, Banana.

After the whole Shayne sleepover thing, Roisin's parents said we werent allowed to leave the store so rushed back there in time for Roisin's mom to pick us up and send us to Sasha's house. Roisin stayed over that night. For some reason, all three of us seemed to find everything funny and we couldnt stop giggling and laughing at our own lame jokes.

Roisin: "I'm going to lie down on your boobs. theyre soft."

Shayne called me with a number I didnt recognize.
Me: "who's this ?"
Shayne: "I am your fathah !"
Me: "no, you're not. who are you ?"
Shayne: "yes, I am. I am your fathah !"
Me: "no, my dad doesnt sound like that"
Shayne: "I am your mothah !"
Me: *giggles* "my mom doesnt sound like that either !"
Shayne: "I'm Roisin."
Me: "Roisin is sitting next to me"
Shayne: "I'm Sasha, then"
Me: "Sasha is right in front of me"
Shayne: "damn, this is hard"

09/ 06/ 09
Woke up to Roisin's face which was 2 inches away from mine which gave me a shock. Lina came over and Sasha cooked for us. Lina broke the fork trying to cut her sausage, dont ask me how. Sat in Sasha's room eating while Roisin sat in her towel drying her underwear with the hairdryer. We were supposed to meet Faiz, Amirul, Shafiq 1 and 2 at the beach so showered and got dressed. The boys were running late so we watched I Know Who Killed Me in the guest house. Roisin and Sasha were screaming at the gawry scenes while I was drooling over Lindsay Lohan. Dont give me that look, she's hot okay.

The fork Lina broke.

Doesnt Sasha look like a mother cooking her kids breakfast ?

The thing Sasha keeps under her bed to point at thieves.

Went to the beach in the blazing afternoon heat. The boys were nice enough to buy us our fixes and the bottle of water we asked for to pour over our legs cos both Roisin and I had cuts on our ankles and the sea water made it sting like crazy. Walked in the water and found chicken heads in crab traps. Gross. Shafiq 1 offerred to piggy back me since I was lazy to walk. Found an empty beer bottle and I wanted to leave a message in it and throw it out to the sea but we didnt have a cork so I smashed it against the rocks instead. Its fun breaking things. You guys should try it some time.

Maharaj and Tek Nan came by on their way to the yatch club. Tried talking to Tek Nan since he's friends with lots of my friends and my best friend's boyfriend but the boy barely talks. Or maybe he just doesnt like me. Walked along the beach with Maharaj. We seem to do this everytime we're at the beach.

After Maharaj and Tek Nan left, we all walked to Lina's house which was 2 minutes away. Sat on her patio drinking orange juice, making dirty jokes about the never-ending up beat music blasting out of her house. HAHAH. Sasha literally fed me half a cup of sugar. Sweeeet, I like. Made me feel like puking after that though.

Faiz let me drive his car and it was pretty much the same story from the day before except this time there were a few cars every now and then so I freaked out everytime one passed by. Second time round, Sasha and Faiz were in the back seat and Shafiq 1 rode up front with me. I asked the other boys if they wanted to hop in the car with me but they all shook their heads vigorously and went on about how they were too young to die and bla bla bla. HAHAH. The only improvement in my driving was that I wasnt afraid to go fast this time. I got distracted by so many things so easily though.

Me: *looks out the window* "ohmygod ! CHICKEN ! look, its a chicken !"
Sasha: "ohmygod ! eyes on the road, Michelle !!!"
Me: "oh, right.............. did you see the chicken ?"

All of us went to Sasha's house after that and lazed around in the living room. Shafiq 1 was outside parking his car cos I didnt't do it right and he stumbles in, palms facing upwards, saying "I'm so grateful to God for helping survive that" (referring to my driving) and gave this whole speech about how much he appreciates his life. HAHAH. I bit Amirul and I ended up hurting my teeth and he said it wasnt painful at all. Was surprised cos when I bit Maharaj he screamed like a baby. My teeth marks were on Amiruls arm though and I told him "now, you have been marked" in a deep voice. Shafiq 2 was pretty freaked out by the fact that I bite people though. He was too scared to let me bite him. What a baby. teehee.

The boys had to go home, so I clung onto Shafiq 2's leg, refusing to let him go. HAHAH. Everyone was persuading Shafiq 2 to go to Seremban with us all the next day but plans were cancelled last minute.

What the hell is men stuff ? / I am Amirul's new belacan. *giant grin* (inside thing).

10/ 06/ 09
Woke up early cos I was going back to kl that day. I'm completely retarded when it comes to public transport okay. I have no idea how to take the bus or the train. Thank god Maharaj, Hasvin and Low were going to KL so I tagged along. If it wasnt for them, someone would've had to send me all the way to KL.

Hitched a ride with Natasyah and Lina since they were taking the bus to Seremban with Shafiq 1 and Faiz. Hugged Shafiq 1 goodbye but all of us ended up taking the same bus. Once we got to Seremban, Maharaj, Low, Hasvin and I took the KTM to Midvalley. Low can never sit still. The minute we got on the train, he started walking about, fiddling with everything and trying to annoy Hasvin and Hasvin wouldnt give Low his hoodie back cos he was cold. HAHAH. I've known these boys since form 1 and they hardly changed. I hope it stays that way.

Had lunch with the boys. Well, they had lunch. I didnt feel like eating. They wanted to play pool after which I wasnt keen on so they went to Brewball and I went shopping on my own which was quite refreshing. Its been quite a while since I've done serious shopping on my own.

Met up with the boys again after that and just walked around. Maharaj had to go to his cousins house so I hugged him goodbye and he acted as if I was about to die and he'd never see me again. HAHAH. Jeremy was picking me up at 6pm and it was sweet of Low and Hasvin keep me company til then. Thank you, you two.

Jeremy called telling me to buy a kuali cos he was bringing his motorbike and I'll have to tie the kuali to his bike and he'll drag me home. I knew he wasnt serious about the kuali but for a minute I thought he really was going to bring his bike which I was not happy about cos motorcycles scare me. He and Melissa picked me up in the car of course.

Jeremy: "stinky, where's your kuali ?" (he calls me stinky)
Me: "for a while, I actually thought you were bringing your bike, you know"
Jeremy: "what changed your mind ?"
Me: "I didnt think you'd actually bring your bike."

Got back, showered, and headed to Secret Recipe with Jeremy, Melissa and Sam for cake. Melissa had torn her ligament a while back and she stumbled on this shallow drain on the way back to the car which left her in excruciating pain.

Sam: "did you trip on the drain ?"
Melissa: "yes. maybe we can sue them and make some money."

When we got home,
Aunty Othy: Melissa, did you go out without a bra ?"
Melissa: "yes, its niiiice, you should try it some time."

11/ 06/ 09
Planned to go Sunway Lagoon with Shayne and Shana for Shamita's birthday. Got a wake up call from Shayne telling me he was on his way so rushed like mad. Their driver picked me up with Shayne, Shana and their friend, Brandon already in the car and dropped us off at Pyramid. After finding Shamita and buying our wristbands, we went to shop for Shamita's present. Yes, Shayne bought her birthday gift on her birthday. Always prepared beforehand arent we, Peanut ?

Shamita was busy looking for her friends so Shayne, Shana, Brandon and I went in first and rode the spinning teacups. Everyone felt nauseous except for me. Rode the ship after that. Shana and I weren't even the least bit shaken but Shayne and Brandon were freaking out. Shana is the best person to go to a theme park with. Both of us were dying to go on all the rides no matter how scary they looked but the boys were such chickens. I dont get it. HAHAH.

I was slightly dissapointed how I didnt feel the slightest bit scared on any of the rides. I love the adrenaline rush you get on roller coasters or when youre upside down in the air and think youre about to die. I guess Sunway Lagoon rides just arent scary. I was giggling the whole way through the rides, especially since I was sitting next to Shayne. The retard kept plucking leaves from the trees we passed by during the roller coaster ride screaming. HAHAH. I didnt plan on swimming but I was soaked by the end of the day.

During the roller coaster ride
Shayne: *shouting* "I caught one ! I caught a leaf ! oh, no I lost it ! yay, I caught another one !"
Me: *dies laughing*

Went to Shamita's house after that. Squeezed 6 poeple in the back seat of the car. Walked to the playground and tried to hide from Shamita and Loh. We should never ever be spies, we suck big time. Went to the bakery before heading back to Shamita's house for dinner. Shayne and I helped Thejas pick out a formal outfit in his room where I was cracking my skull trying to solve the damn rubiks cube. I've never been able to solve a rubiks cube in my life. Shayne told me for some reason, all the aunties and uncles think Shayne and I are dating and were telling him "good pick, Shayne, good pick." :S

poor Shana.

Jai, Shana, Me, Shayne, Loh, Thejas.

Shamita's house.

Mini drama errupted with Roisin's mom after dinner and she kept calling Shayne but it was all cool after that. These little kids were talking about American Idol and about how they didnt like Adam Lambert just cos he was gay.

Shayne: "what does your sexual preference have to do with your singing ?
Little kid: "gay."

Shayne: "michelle, did you see the pictures of him kissing a guy ?"
Little kid: "yeerrrh, he likes guys ah ?"
Shayne: "you've been saying gay gay gay, what do you think gay is ?"
Little kid: *in utter disgust* "yeerrhhh, he likes guys ! yeerrhh !!!"
Shana, Me: *die laughing*

Went back to Shayne's house cos I was sleeping over. Their little puppy is soooo cute, I tell you. It tried to eat my shoe and when I was sleeping, it came and put its head on my pillow and slept next to me. Then it tried to bite my face. But still, sooooo cute.

12/ 06/ 09
Shayne's driver sent me back to aunty Othy's house in the morning after dropping him off at college. Went to Midvalley with Sam, Melissa and her friend Sulekha. Bumped into Rebecca whom I havent seen in 2 years. Shopped, finally bought my much needed flip flops and ballet flats. Was very happy.
Went to Kashini's house that night. Hadn't seen the girl in ages. It was good catching up. Played with her adorable hyper puppy, Nacho.

I really really want a puppy now !

13/ 06/ 09
Went to midvalley with the family - again. That place is like the Nice's mailing adress. You stand a better chance at finding us there than at home. Got back home, showered, and went out again for dinner. Got home and sat around talking with the family which I dont usually do.

14/ 06/ 09
Woke up at 5 bloody a.m. as we were going back that day. Was so tired, I slept throughout the flight. I wasn't really sad leaving kl for once cos we're moving back to KL in october. This time, its official. I'm so relieved. Going to kl has made me despise sarawak with every inch of my entire being all over again.

p/s: Sasha, thank you for letting me stay at your place. I know I drove you insane. HAHAH. Once I move, whenever you come down to kl, dont even bother getting a hotel, you're staying with me. :D I love you, Kelapa.

2009-06-01T14:23:00.003+08:00

Gawai today.

Its like a really big thing here. Bigger than easter and christmas which is also really huge celebrations here cos there are so many christians.

I dont hate Sarawak anymore. When I first moved here right up til last year, I despised Kuching and hoped that terrorist from Iraq would bomb the place to a million tiny pieces.

I actually kinda like it here now. Sort of. I relish how the most common stereotypes are punks, skaters and preps and that arent any hip hopper wannabes cos there are hardly any indians.

I dont have anything against indians, I just dont understand their need to wear clothes 40 sizes too big for their frames and act all 'hip hop'.

Laaaaame. Just cos you have dark skin doesnt make you black ok.

No offense. (:

So I'm going to stop being so anti-sarawak and wish everybody

HAPPY GAWAI !

and uh, have fun doing whatever you do on Gawai.

2009-05-29T19:11:00.004+08:00

Yay ! 2 weeks of holladays !

Schools been alright. Surprisingly, the teachers didnt burden us with sky high piles of homework. I actually dont really mind homework. Its the closest I've been getting to studying lately. I need to fall back into my daily studying routine.

Nothing out of the norm has been happening. Well, as normal as Ray, Phoebe, Theresa, Pam, Sara and I can get. Our definition of normal behaviour is right under psychiatric ward patients. No, thats not normal. We're actually very much aware that our level of insanity has skyrocketed but thats how we roll. :D Even Christina said to us "gang kau orang pelik pelik eh." I dont blame her though. Every time she passed by our table, I give her this hugeass giant grin, Phoby attempts to crack a lame joke and Ray confesses her undying love for her.

Our class is the Physics lab so we dont have individual desks. Everyone sits in groups and shares those giant tables that school labs always have so we're always together 24/7 and I wouldnt have it any other way. However, we are the reason that we all have to study extra hard for exams cos we're sort of left behind in class. We distract each other too much in class.

There was a fire drill yesterday. I panicked for a second when I saw the alarmed look on Gladie's face as the fire alarm went off until I realized it was just a drill. I stood in front of the table, looking at my bag wondering if there was anything important I should take with me but then I remembered you're supposed to leave your stuff and rush out of the building during a fire but I just remained standing there, still thinking about my stuff. Then I realized all I brought were school related things and just abandoned my stuff.

Students gathered on the field to find firemen there lighting blocks of wood to demonstrate how to put out a fire. Since the drill was clashing with recess, all the girls cared about was their stomachs. They were yelling that they were hungry and kept asking the teachers when they could eat. HAHAH.

Fireman: *lights the blocks of wood*
Random girl: "yaaaaay! barbecue !"

Fireman: *puts out the fire with the fire extinguisher*
*huge clouds of white mist and smoke formed*
Random girl: *in squeaky-excited-girly voice* "snoooow !"

Ker Ching: "so much smoke."
Me: "we're all going to get emphysema, bronchitis and lung cancer and St. Teresa girl school will be responsible for another hole in the ozone layer."
Ker Ching: "St. Teresa supports global warming !"

For some reason, our assembly this week was postponed to today. Mary John (our principal) said in her speech that when you hear a fire alarm, you should yell "fire! fire!" to let other people know. Ever since then, every time the bell rang signalling the end of a period, the girls in class would yell "fire! fire!" Quite the retards.

Today was Dragon's (private nickname we gave Mr. Jardian, our form 6 graduate substitute PJ teacher) last day in St. Teresa. According to Ray he's Mr.Ma's (Rays apek-pig-obsessed, yellow-gum-boots-wearing, owner of non-existent pork and fish industry alter ego) cousin. It's an inside joke. We all couldnt stop laughing at the thought of Ray going up to Dragon as Mr.Ma, speaking softly, teary eyed in her apek accent saying "cousin ah... aiyoh cousin, you dont go la. you stay here wif Mr.Ma la. cousin ah, I very sad oh." HAHAH. Dragon isnt related to any of us so imagine how freaked he would've been with Ray calling him 'cousin'.

Random;

Alter egos: Coco G (self absorbed-gangsta-rapper, me) and Mr. Ma (ray).
Coco G: *meditating* "ommmm... kerooooseeeene"
Mr. Ma: "eh, you know what my pig do ah yeasterday-"
Coco G: nigga, shut up ! now, I gotta go even deeper, man. ommm...petroleeeuuummm"

During chemistry, Rachel Blair was trying to shuffle
Ani: *shouts from the front of the chem lab* "whoa, Rachel Blair can shuffle !"
Lya: *shouts back from the back* "no la, dangdut."

During add maths
Ray: "not like your gigi, so ugly oh"

Me: "my gigi baaaanyak cantik okeh!"
Ray: *raises her arms dramatically* "SENYUM! SEEENYUUM !"
Me: *bares teeth*

I am now waiting for daddy to bring home my mcds and I'm going to vegetate in front of the tv.

2009-05-27T15:05:00.005+08:00

Woke up at 1.30pm today. Yeah, I didnt go to school.

My laptop is being a complete bitch. I swear, all the electronics in my house are on a mission to constantly piss me off. You know, I yelled at the dvd player yesterday and it switched off by itself. That wasn't a first. Once, I yelled at the radio to shut up and it too, switched off by itself. I swear, I'm developing superpowers. And yes, I talk to inanimate objects all the time. Deal with it.

Ray came over yesterday to do our stupid PSK project. We still didn't get it done. We spent like 2 hours on it and then went to skate.

Daddy's birthday was on monday. Uncle Ong dropped off a heeeuge cake from Secret Recipe for daddy on sunday. He was in Sabah and was only coming home at like midnight and I was dying to eat the cake the whole day. Couldnt take it anymore and called him about 263564 times that night but he wasnt answering his phone so I texted him.

me: "daddy, can I eat your cake?"
*after 1 and a half torturous hours*
dad: "ok"

Finally got to eat my cake ! It was driving me crazy, I tell you.

Going to kl on tuesday. I really really really wanna go to pd. I need to hang out with my friends who I miss way too much without family or anyone else. Just my friends and I like how it used to be.

I do love my family, immediate and extended, and I love being over at my cousins house. Its so much more noisy and feels like what a home should feel like (even though we're all slightly, no, extremely insane and are actually quite a dysfunctional family) compared to my house where everyones either on the phone or out and hardly interact. But I dont like it when my family's around when I'm with my friends. It makes me feel like I cant be myself and have to hold back. Especially my parents, homygawd, I cant have a conversation with people in front of my parents, it feels so awkward, I dont know why.

Mom used to say that I never spent enough time with family, I was always with my friends but the way I see it is we're freaking related, I'll be seeing my family all the time but I cant do that with my friends and I hardly get to see them being so far away and all, so sue me for jumping at every opportunity I get to spend time with them.

Sasha, Ro, Sher, Carol, we must do our beach/ yatch club/ sleepover thing okay. Its been waaaay too long.

My stupid laptop says its 8.42pm when its really 4.00pm and it wont let me change it. Grrr.

2009-05-22T00:16:00.004+08:00

If you really want me in your life,
you'll find a way to put me there.

2009-05-21T19:29:00.006+08:00

I didnt go to school today. Woke up at 2.30pm. I'm so not gonna be able to sleep tonight.

Spent the day watching College and Lords of Dogtown. Both borrowed from Ray. Lords of Dogtown was cool.

Phoebe, Ray, Pam and Theresa followed me home from school yesterday to do our PSK project. We only did some of it and then went to skate. Phoebe brought her Element stakeboard which I got kind of used to skating on yesterday and now my icky ciplak skateboard feels a little heavy when I skate on it.

There's this sort of steep slope which is part of my driveway that I tried skating down once. I almost killed myself. Ray tried skating down the slope too but screamed and jumped off her board halfway. That was the first time any of us heard Ray scream like a girl. It was hilarious.

There's this skate circle (thats what I call it, its not really meant for skating) next to the play ground near my house so we walked there. Played on the seesaw and couldnt stop giggling. Bought junk food at the convenience store and sat around on these concrete pipe thingies sharing food.

Me: you know, we look like a family on holiday.
Phoebe: yeah, man, we're sitting around a playground eating., like, we're having a picnic or something.
Ray: I want to be the gay maid !

So, Phoebe's the mom, Pam's the dad, I'm the brother, Theresa's the baby which we call Baby X cos her gender's unknown, and Ray's the gay maid.

When we were going to back to the skate circle, Ray couldnt get down.
Ray: eh, eh, gay maid stuck ! gay maid stuck !

Skated for a while and then called the driver to send everyone home. All of us live on different sides of Kuching and everyone knows how bad I am at directions so I was no help. Sent Theresa and Ray home first but got lost sending Phoebe home cos neither of us knew where she lives. HAHAH. I dont think the driver was very happy about that.

Piiiiiictures:

Dont ask.

Ray 'rowing' my skateboard with the fish net from my pond.
She actually made me get up and walk to my pond to get
the net so she could do this. -_- Retard.

Ray was flipping through this American To British slang dictionary and you know what we found for skaters ?

Skaters - Semi-post-pubscent skate board fanatic who, with the rest of the pack, have an uncanny ability to locate whatever is going down in a blur of high speed, building-scaling, sidewalk-traversing baggy grunge. The pants worn are so baggy, the crotch is at ground level.

Apparently this is what we're defined as. Both of us couldn't stop laughing.

2009-05-19T14:52:00.007+08:00

EDIT//

Random;

Me: I saw this shop in Penang once, called House of Condoms.
Ray: they have it here as well. I was looking around and they were like, promoting this masturbation kit.
Phoebe: they sell scented candles too.
Theresa: *eyes wide* to masturbate with ?!!

Ray was flipping through this book about God and skaters. I'm not kidding. The book is really about christian skaters and having faith in God. She saw this picture of this guy who was wearing a shirt with 'I Am Barabus' on it, holding up a painting of God.

Ray: *really excited* hey its God ! dude, I see God ! its Jesus ! its Jesus !
*sees the slogan on the guys shirt* I AM BAHRAHBAS !
*stops to think* hey isnt that the bad guy ?

During Chemistry, Ray came across a picture of a really cute blonde skater in the book.

Ray: hey, this guys pretty hot.
Me: yeah, I was staring at that picture too just now. look, it says he's 14. dont be a pedophile.
Ray: *laughs* wait, wasnt this book published a few years ago ? he'll be older now.
Me: *heeeeeuge grin*
Ray: *laughs* who's the pedophile now ?
Me: quick, check what year it was published in. I wanna know his current age !
Ray: ha-
Me: *grabs the book from Ray* it was published in 2005. so hes 18 now. we can date him!
Ray: what ? like a threesome ?
Me: well, you can have him once I get bored of him. then when youre bored of him, we'll give him to Phoby.
Ray: *laughs* you do realize that we're not actually gonna be able to date him, right ?
Me: *glares at Ray*

2009-05-18T22:23:00.003+08:00

Hello.

School was fun today. Phoebe was reciting the article she wrote for her English oral exam. She was all nervous cos we have to present it in front of the class. I did mine like 2 months ago. I got full marks. *giant grin* Running off topic here. Anyway, she wrote about Tony Hawk. We sit together in class and she was reciting it so many times, I can pretty much memorize it too.

Phoebe trying to memorize her report then I started annoying her and started speaking in an chinese apek accent.

Phoebe: Tony Hawk is an American skater-
Me: no lah. he chinese.
Phoebe: *glares at me* I'm trynna memorize this here !
Me: but he chinese laaaa. thats why his name Toh Nee Hok.
Phoebe: *laughs* oh, man, I'm gonna end up laughing during my presentation.
Me: Tony Hawk is a chinese man. He was born in Bangkok, Thailand.
Phoebe: *laughs* you know Thailand isnt in China, right ?
Me: yea la but it rhymes so just shut up.
Phoebe: hes not chinese !
Me: *sings over and over* Tony Hawk is a chinese man. He was born in Bangkok, Thailand !

She ended up not having to present it today. HAHAH.

We have this thing where we call each other our lezbans kay. Not lesbians, lezbans.
Ray and Pam are lezbans, Phoebe and I are lezbans. (we're not really together, its an inside joke).

Ray: Pam, I love you.
Pam: eww.
Ray: aiyoh, Pam, I like you ah.
Pam: eww. go away la you.
Ray: I like you oh, Pam. youre my puchu. *tries to hug Pam*
Pam: *starts whacking Ray with her book and chases her away*
Me: *over hears the whole thing and dies laughing*

Random;

online with Yukesh. (this was a while back).

Me: boo !
Yukesh: -_-
Me: glad youre happy to hear from me.
Yukesh: I am. that was a pretty adorable thing you did Puchella. trying to scare me and all. I think I have diabetes now.

Yukesh: Imma start revising for a bio test tmrw. so I might not reply frequently. so dont freak ok. I'm most likely still alive.
Me: okay, yucks. thanks for the warning. I think I'll survive your delayed replies.
Yukesh: owh, will you ?
Me: well, we'll see wont we ?
Yukesh: owh, will we ?
Me: -_-
Yukesh: here I go then.

2009-05-16T20:03:00.008+08:00

EDIT//

Hello. My feet hurt from walking around for 7 hours.

Before I start,

I'm going to start referring to Phoby as Phoebe. Dont ask why. I just think it somehow makes my posts look a little neater. As Phoebe would say, OCD attack ! Hahah. And I'm going to make my conversations more colourful and the colours arent going to be fixed. I'll change them as I please.

Ok, updates.

Was supposed to meet Phoebe and Ray at The Spring at 12pm today. Woke up around 10 something am to Phoebe's call and text telling me to meet them there at 11am instead. It took a while before it finally registered that I had 45 minutes to get outta bed, shower and get dressed. Yes, it takes me a while just to get out of bed. Most of the time, I lie in bed for a few minutes hoping I'm just dreaming and wishing I can go back to sleep or wondering why the world is so cruel and wakes you up at such ungodly hours. Once I realize theres no hope of me being able to go back to sleep, then, I get up.

All of us were late. Got there around 11.45am to find only Ray there. Called Phoebe and she and Kara were lost. HAHAH. Went to Big Apple with Ray first. While we were picking donuts, one of the guys working there said to me "kawan mek kirim salam pada kitak" which is bahasa sarawak for my friend.. uh.. kirim salam la. Hahah. Couldnt translate it right. I didnt hear him right and thought he was saying something about plastic so I just ignored it. HAHAH.

Went to MPH after that. Ray and I were checking out all the pre-u books. Dont ask. There were lots of SAT books and Ray starts chanting "sat ! sat ! sat !" Yeah, I know, retard. We were standing there talking and arguing about it for a while and this chinese man there who kept glancing at us starts talking to us.

chinese man: excuse me, can I ask where you're from ?
me: umm, we're from kl.
chinese man: youre both on holiday here is it ?
me: uh, yeah.
Ray: *walks away trying to hold back her laughter*
*chinese man talks to me about how I find kuching*
chinese man: if you dont mind me asking, what race are you ?
me: I'm half ceylonese, half eurasian.
chinese man: oh, no wonder. you dont look malaysian.
me: is it ? hahah.
chinese man: yes. you have an accent ah. your mother or father is eurasian ?
me: do I ? my mother.
chinese man: so youre studying in kl ? doing matriculation or ?
me: yeah, in kl. no, I'm in a private college.
chinese man: what do you aspire to be ?
me: I'm going to do medicine.
chinese man: wow ! youre grades must be very good ah.
me: hahah. yeah, theyre good enough.
chinese man: you have a very nice accent. you speak english very well.
me: thank you. it was nice meeting you.
chinese man: nice meeting you too.

It was so random. He was kinda weird but nice. I'm used to this though. I've had people come up to me just to ask what race I am. HAHAH. I dont know why I just posted that conversation up. Fuck it la, I already typed it all out, not gonna erase it now.

Went to the bottom floor to wait for Phoebe. As we were going down the escalator, the boys on the escalator next to us that was going up were saying "hi", one after the other. Felt my cheeks burn with embarassment, dont know why. Hahah. Too bad none of them were cute.

Didnt notice Phoebe walk in cos Ray and I were too distracted by her green kiwi donut. Phoebe comes up behind us and grabs our necks, giving me a fright. Met Kara in the flesh for the first time. She's so preeeetty. Kara, I know youre reading this ! HAHAH.

Walked around for a bit with Phoby and then we went to Center Point, the abandoned-looking mall with the scary sensor escalators that Ray and I are terrified of. The only reason we go there is cos of Rupert Rage, a cool skateboard shop. The shop is pretty small but there are like 7 guys working there. Their pretty funny. Overheard one of them talking. Well, he was talking so loud, it was impossible not to. In a typical malaysian accent, he was saying "the ghetto, the ghetto, you know the ghetto town in noo yok ceety ? ah, there lah. got a lot there. I go there lah. mek rasa cool. at the ghetto." HAHAH.

We wanted to go buy skating buttons but they didnt have the ones we wanted.): We were flipping through decks and there were a lot of decks with pro skaters' names on them.

Me: if they have a Ryan Sheckler deck... I'll die.
Ray: lets hope they have a Ryan Sheckler deck then.
Me: *spots a Ryan Sheckler deck and gasps*
Phoby: howh, man.
Ray: I thought she was supposed to die.
Phoby: why arent you dying ?

I've been attracted to bright green things a lot lately. I was mostly attracted to all the green decks. I think I finally have a favourite colour ! BRIGHT GREEN ! Before this, I never really had a favourite colour. I liked anything bright. I'm happy I have a favourite colour now. Heehee. And I'm so happy its not something like pink. I dont have anything against pink. Pink is awesome but a girl who's favourite colour is pink ? Too common.

Kara picked Phoebe up from Centre Point around 4pm. Then Ray and I went to McDonalds to get ice cream. Walked around Sarawak Plaza after that. There were rempits everywhere. This gang of rempits were behind us on the escalator. One of them practically pushed Ray out of the way and stood next to me and started talking to me. He was obviously talking in bahasa sarawak so I'll just translate it to english.

Malay guy: you know, you look like a hindi actress.
Me: *looks at him and then looks away*
Malay guy: really. I'm telling the truth. you look like a hindi actress. very pretty.
Me: *smiles half heartedly and walks away with Ray*

I'm not actually this rude to people but that guy was a total loser and I was pissed off at how he shoved Ray out of the way like that so I didnt bother saying two words to him.

Went to Tun Jugah after that and Ray started doing her Mr.Ma dance in the bathroom the minute she heard 'Pokerface'.

Me: showing off our underwear huh. what are we future Victoria Secret models ?
Ray: more like future Victoria Secret sluts !
(this isnt to actually show off our undies kay. its an inside joke).

Walked into this store called 'Pork Chop and Pigs' or something like that. Everything there had to do with pigs. Mugs, stuffed animals, shirts, pillows, cards, toys, you name it. Ray went insane ! It was hilarious. The boy and girl working there were very amused.

EDIT:
There was this table of chinese men at this chinese coffee shop that we passed by and they started meowing at us as we walked by. Yes, meowing. They were like "meow meow meow ! reouwr reouwr !" in deep rough voices. Almost died laughing. Seriously, meowing to get a girls attention ? Thats a new one. I guess thats why they call it Kuching.

Went into random stores along the streets for a while.There were like batallions of rempits everywhere and boy, do they get excited when they see girls. So many icky guys driving by slowed down and rolled the screens down to say "hi". I just stared at them blankly and continued eating my ice cream. HAHAH. There were a few middle eastern guys who were smiling at me while Ray and I were waiting outside Tun Jugah who would've been cute if they weren't so hairy and didnt have unibrows.

2 more weeks of school and then holladay for 2 weeks. I'm going to kl. I cant wait.

2009-05-15T19:43:00.005+08:00

I apologize in advance for sounding like a total bitch.

People have to stop copying lines from my blog
and 'about me' sections on friendster and facebook.
Its not that I havent noticed, believe me, I have,
but I've just been keeping quiet about it cos
I think its plain stupid to fight over this
but its really pissing me off now.

Dont think just cos I posted something a while back,
I wont remember it now and that gives you permission to use it.
Stop copying the things I say, the things I do, and the things I'm into.
And leave my friends alone. They dont even like you.

And by people, I mean just one girl in particular.
I dont want to fight with you over such petty things
but your hypocrisy is making my blood boil.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
I love my readers, really.
(no sarcasm intended).

* bitch mode off *

2009-05-14T12:40:00.006+08:00

Finally, exams are over ! ..... For now.

Went for a blood test this morning. I have band-aids on both my arms. They couldnt get enough blood out from my left arm so they had to inject my right arm too. I couldnt pull my eyes away. I've had blood extracted before but I'm still always fascinated by it. Call me weird but I love injections, especially blood extractions. The err, lab technician ? Is that what you call them ? Yeah, she told me I might have low blood pressure and that I should get it checked.

Mom stopped by the wet market on the way back from the hospital. I can't even remember the last time I went to a wet market. I dont exactly relish walking through puddles of filthy water and the stench of raw fish. Once, when I was little, I followed my mom grocery shopping even though I was a little sick, and threw up in the raw meat section. Ever since then, the sight of raw meat and raw fish in supermarkets or any kind of market tends to make me nauseous.

Funny how I can watch pathologists perform autopsies and practically mutilate the corpse (and I'm not talking about the lame, clean stuff on CSI, I'm talking about those real life videos on the web exposing the aggresive, hostile ways pathologists handle a corpse in real life) but the sight of raw meat absolutely disgusts me.

Was walking around with cotton taped to both my arms from the injections like some sort of walking accident. HAHAH. These boys at the market were pointing to my band-aids and I swear, I was so tempted to tell them I was a junkie and ask them if they had any heroin just for kicks but mom was right next to me so I was forced to bite my tongue. Stupid malay boys working at the market started whistling and singing and holding up whole raw fishes as I walked by like thats supposed to impress me or something. Yeah, the way to a girls heart is by offering her a slimy dead fish.

Nothing much to update on. I'm not in a very good mood.

Random;

Ray: Marilyn Monroe committed suicide right ?
Me: she OD'ed la. Elvis OD'ed too right ?
Ray: wasnt it a suicide attempt ?
Phoby: no, that was Nicole something, aiyah, I forgot her name. Nicole, nic-
Me: Nicole Scherzinger ?! I wish la she would commit suicide !
Phoby: shes still alive la.
Me: how unfortunate for us all.

2009-05-08T20:41:00.005+08:00

Remember how I said I wouldnt be blogging til midterms are over ? Yeah, well, I couldnt stay away.

I've got 3 more days of exams next week and its finally over. Until the next one begins. -_- I'm so worried about my results. I barely studied. I'll be lucky to even get mediocre grades this time. :S I slept for 1 and half hours during my add maths exam. Yeah, it was that hard, I just gave up. Christina, Theresa, Tia and I cheated for our history paper 2. It was hilarious since Tia and Therese were literally all the way on the other side of the class. We kept mouthing answers to each other and Christina was using her fingers to spell out sentences letter by letter. HAHAH.

Finally went to see the doctor about the discomfort in my arm I've been complaining about. Went to the army clinic, finally got to meet Dr. Devan. Got my arm x-rayed. He said the bones on one side of my elbow dont have enough space, so every time I flex my arm, the bones are rubbing against one another.

Dr. Devan: "I need to check if your arm is weaker than the other one. Squeeze my hand as hard as you can."
Me: *squeezes his hand with all my might and strength*
Dr. Devan: "thats all ?"

And I was using all my strength to squeeze as hard as I could, I was afraid I might have been hurting him, and he goes "thats all ?" without even flinching. HAHAH. I always thought I was pretty strong. I can't believe I'm that weak.

He made an appointment for me at the specialist hospital the next day with an orthopedic surgeon to get a second opinion. I hated the orthopedic surgeon. He kept insisting I had this and that pains and aches when I specifically told him many times that it doesnt even hurt and he was pressing my elbow in the wrong places even after I pointed out where I feel the discomfort. Was so fucking annoyed. I have an appointment to go back next thursday for a blood test. I know it sounds strange but I actually like injections.

Dr. Devan came over last night. We're all living in the army camp so our houses are like 5 minutes away from each other. Dad told him I was keen on doing medicine and asked him to come talk to me about it since he just graduated a year or two ago. The man really knows his stuff. He was very helpful. I have a much clearer idea of what I want to do now. Becoming a doctor is even harder than I assumed. I was slightly worried that after hearing about all the struggle and the insane hours you have to put into studying, I would change my mind and go back to square one, not having an ambition but I swear, I want to be a doctor more than ever now. Dr. Devan really loves medicine, you can tell just by the way he talks about it and thats exactly the kinda doctor I want to be. Sorry, got carried away.

Random;

Phoby, Ray and I have this thing where we ask each other what colour panties we're all wearing at school everyday. We're so used to it, its become part of our daily routine.
Me: "why are we so retarded ?"
Phoby: "we can never be serious."
Ray: "ok, ok. lets try to be serious."
Me: "kay, lets have an intellectual convo."
Ray: *in apek accent* "sooooooo.... what colour pantie you wear today ah ?"

We've been doing pretty stupid things when teachers are walking by lately.
Me: *in Italian accent* "sorry, I no speakah the eng-ge-leesh. get out of my country !"
bm teahcer: *stares at me like I'm insane*

Phoby: Ray, gimme your chips."
Ray: "no, you have to say I'm pig of the world first."
Phoby: *punches fist into the air* "I'm pig of the world !"
Math teacher: *turns around and stares at her*

after telling Ray about my elbow bone problem.
Me: "chem exam is for 2 and a 1/2 hours. what am I supposed to do for 2 and a 1/2 hours?! I'm gonna be bored. did you study, Ray ?"
Ray: "nope."
Me: "me either. we're on the same page then."
Ray: "my boat is gonna sink, man."
Me: "I didnt say we'll be on the same boat, Ray."
Ray: "what ? then ?"
Me: "I said we'll be on the same page ! page, Ray, page ! does my bone problem affect your hearing ?!"

Ray: "hey, whats up ? !"
Me: "hey"
Ray: "asparagus."

Ray: "I'm a rockstar- no, I'm a porkstar ! feel your inner pork !"
Me: "wtf ? HAHAHAHAHAAH"
Ray: "oh, never mind, you loony."
Me: "oh, I'm the loony ?"

Online with Roisin.
Me: whats asparagus in malay ?
Ro: oh, belimbing-gus.
Me: belimbing is starfruit right ? or is that tembeling ?oh no, wait, thats tembikai. oh, no, wait, thats watermelon..... shit.

Online with Yukesh.
Yukesh: hows the elbow fixing going ?
Me: I have to go for a blood test next week.
Yukesh: hope you pass.

2009-05-02T14:47:00.004+08:00

EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS !

I've got midterms going on. 2 friggin weeks of exams. All my studying is so last minute. I wont be blogging much til exams are over. Not like I'll have anything to blog about anyway, I'm going to be sitting at my desk buried in books. I know, I know, I'm living on the edge. psh.

My slutty-dangdut-singing-black-magic-dealing maid has gone back. She was really sad, she cried a lot which made me feel kinda bad but whatevs la. The new maid is coming this evening.

I've been getting this odd, annoying feeling in my arm and its really bugging me. Its sort of like an ache but doesnt really hurt and I feel like I have to keep moving my arm. It makes me so..... geram. I need to get it checked

My grandma on my dads side of the family has been staying with us for almost 2 months cos my aunt couldnt stand to live with her anymore after some big fight blew up. You know that whole 'mother/daughter in law can never get along' thing ? Yeah, my grandma and mom are living proof of that. I dont mind my grandma staying here and all but its about time she go stay with one of her other kids. I mean, shes got 5 of them and their all so damn rich, I'm sure they can look after her and she knows it. I know she's old and all but she can be so annoying. She likes talking to me when I'm watching tv la. I cant stand people bugging me when I'm watching tv. It irritates me to the max okay.

Gah ! I feel so blah ! Oh, that rhymed.

2009-04-27T14:06:00.006+08:00

GAHH !

I'm so frustrated.

Had a total of one and a half hours sleep last night. Woke up for school literally feeling like a zombie. Arrived at school in complete bitch mode. Nothing but violent thoughts about the students around me and profanities were running through my mind on the way to class. Was cursing and swearing under my breath at the slightest of things.

During math, felt like going up to Screamo (private nickname we gave our math/add math teacher) who was, as usual, screaming at the class, and slapping her. Oh, how good it would feel if only I could do that. I told myself not to hate any of my teachers this year cos when I usually hate a teacher, I end up disliking the subject he/she teaches but Screamo is an exception. *through gritted teeth* I just cant stand her.

My heartbreaker situation is getting better. Sort of. I really am changing from the sad, depressed girl I used to be. I am going to stop over-analysing every single detail of every single step I take and just act on impulse like I used to. I'm starting to already. No drastic changes but in some ways, I am slowly morphing into who I used to be and who I want to be. Gradually, I will start to heal.

Had a deep conversation with Theresa about all of this. I told her everything about how I have trouble letting go, how I'm still walking around with a broken heart, how I'm trying to heal in time, how badly I just wanted to live again. And she said something so obvious that I hadnt really realized or considered. She said:

"so live then. if thats what you want, then do it. live."

I must sound like a total bimbo right now. Let me try to explain. Theres something about the way she said it. I think I had an epiphany. I realized its actually easier than I've been making it out to be. I've been blaming people for my misery, believing that everyone is ever ready to tear me down and watch me fall. This whole time I thought I was fighting everyone else but I've really been battling myself and not even knowing it. This isnt going to be such a tough battle anymore. It was just one of those moments where you feel like something knocked you in the head and you suddenly see things in a clearer manner.

I'll shut up now before I start with my broken record syndrome and bore you to death. I havent eaten anything since this morning and I'm starving so I'm going to look for food. Will post the convos at school that cheered me up and had me giggling tomorrow or something.

p/s:

Theresa darling, thank you for the very long conversation we had. I didnt realize how much I needed that. You were very insightful.

Sasha, I know how much it hurts to have your heart broken. I feel your pain, sweetie. I'm always on the other line of your phone if you want to talk when you feel like the male species sole mission in life is to hurt you. I feel that way too sometimes.

*sigh* looks like its heartbreak season.

2009-04-26T14:55:00.003+08:00

I'M HUNGRY.

2009-04-24T21:50:00.008+08:00

Random ;

Webcamming with Shayne, my peanuthead last night. I swear, his facial expressions are hilarious. He was showing me his new moustache which is growing on either side of his upper lip. He named one side fluffy and the other side fluffy squared. Pictures below speak for themselves.

brushing his moustache.

straightening his moustache with a straightening iron.

He got really into it after that. He moisturized and applied gel on it too. Fucking hilarious. I was in stitches the whole time.

Online with Roisin, Sasha and Janus.

These are just bits and pieces of our convo that I feel are blogworthy.

I coloured the names and edited the convo layout a little so its easier to read.
FYI, we can all speak perfect english ok. The ridiculous apek accents are just for laughs.

Puteri Aishah [Fuck it.] says:
i wanna be dumb blond
like, i was like
in the kitchen then like
i turned on the radio but no songs
then my mom was like
dude, that's the toaster
i mean. like, pfft whatever man.
*pushes boobs up*

Puteri Aishah [Fuck it.] says:
so anyways, janus plays the drums, guys. brb
Ray [spazziiee ro bug] says:
you hit things bang bang bang!
[ michelle ] says:
drums ? thats so cool ! and tres sexxxy !
seriously, I'd kill to play drums
[[ janusDavid ]] ;; Makes Love Seem So Easy. says:
why would you kill to play the drums?
[ michelle ] says:
cos then I'd go all rockstar out on the stage in my bra
and headbang to my own drumming
cos drummers are always shirtless
[[ janusDavid ]] ;; Makes Love Seem So Easy. says:
not ALL drummers are topless
[ michelle ] says:
the hot ones usually are.

TRAVIS BARKER ! I'd bang him ! ;)
Ray [spazziiee ro bug] says:
i'd go all the way shirtless dude.
[ michelle ] says:
after tht police kambing (coming) la ro.
must pakai bra
Ray [spazziiee ro bug] says:
PAYUDARA !

[[ janusDavid ]] ;; Makes Love Seem So Easy. says:
i've got to practice my drums now.

got an audition tomorrow
[ michelle ] says:
go bang things.
Ray [spazziiee ro bug] says:
GOOD LUCK ! BANG HARD !
Puteri Aishah [Fuck it.] says:
ur going already?
[ michelle ] says:
he has to bang something.

2009-04-20T14:40:00.005+08:00

Hello.

Not much has been going on lately apart from the usual nonsensical conversations and musings at school.

Went to school on saturday for kk. Woke up at the ungodly hour of 8am on a saturday morning for a bloody 30 minute interact meeting. If youre not aware, I think school on saturdays is just plain wrong. It goes against everything I believe in.

Phoby was so late she missed the whole meeting, she was looking for us in the canteen. Saw her walk by so Ray (who was in a bright electric blue shirt) and I (who was in a black fall out boy shirt) hid from her by trying to blend in with the white wall in crazy poses. Remember crossing one leg over the other, Ray ? Or more like your inability to do so. HAHAH. Yeah, we do that a lot. It worked though, she actually didnt see us. It was probably cos she was on the other side of the canteen but we like to think it was because of our awesome camouflage skills.

Ray, being... well... Ray, was drinking two drinks at once so she had a straw on either corner of her mouth and stared at everyone that passed by with her eyes so wide, it looked like her eye balls were about to bulge out of her eye sockets. HAHAH. She saw a bird walking by and birds tend to hop more than they walk right, so Ray starts hopping along with it. I swear, she brings mental retardation to a whole new level.

The girls came home with me to do our PSK project. We didnt get very far. Skated in front of my house after that. Phoby finally started skating again, she couldnt for a while cos she had surgery for her scoliosis. But shes goooood now.

Was skating for 3 hours yesterday. Finally fell off my skateboard for the first time yesterday. How exciting. I was laughing on the floor by myself like a loon. HAHAH. I cant seem to fucking ollie, man. I wanna learn that so bad.

Mid-semester exams next week. Grrrr. I dont even have the slightest clue on whats coming out for any of my papers. I've hardly even been doing my homework lately. I need to revert to my study routine.

I had the sudden urge to jam my fingers in the door at school today. Chickened out cos Ray said I might get a blood clot under my nail. Ick ! I made my driver wait half an hour for me after school cos I randomly decided to go to my school library and read a book about inventions in hospitals. It was nice okay. It had big, bright, colourful pictures and everything was so easy to understand cos it was a childrens book. I suddenly feel like eating french fries.

Random ;

We started calling Ray 'Mr.Ma' ever since she developed this obsession with being an apek fisherman and wearing my gardeners yellow rubber boots. Now, she wants to start a pork industry. Everything she sells has to do with pork. It started with pork toothpaste and she came up with the slogan "like eating when youre brushing". Gross, I know but its hilarious. She drew an advertisement for her 'pork company' and everything. Shes planning to take over all the fast food joints. Shes going to turn KFC into KFP (kentucky fried pork) and McDonalds into Ma-Donald. I've never even seen Ray eat pork, shes just thrilled that it has to do with pigs. HAHAH. Oh, and she wants to have a band called 'My Man, Mr. Ma'.

Rays 'poems':
(in chinese coffee shop apek accent)

a fat boy sitting on a tree
then he fall down, like spaghetti
his fat face flat on the ground
after that, no more gigi.

youre eyes are round
like the almond
and youre figure oh
like number 80
make me feel naughty
got curls dangling-ling-ling
from your butt (pigs tail)
its even better than a mutt.

2009-04-14T16:36:00.008+08:00

RANDOM.

Ive been having dreams of different boys every night. So random. I wonder if its my hearts way of telling me to move on, at least for now. No matter what, you'll always have a special, permanent place in my heart. I can only hope for the future.
x
I think Im starting to grow up a little. I still do act on impulse and talk without thinking (which still does get me in trouble sometimes) but I find myself maturing a little, mentally and emotionally. It scares me. Im terrified of growing up and taking on new responsibilities. Im terrified of all my todays and tomorrows becoming yesterdays and all my experiences becoming nothing but memories. Im terrified of having to let go of so much especially since I have such a hard time doing so no matter how hard I try and yet I find myself starting to let go in just the tiniest, ity bittiest of ways. Im terrified of the future, the future that Im looking forward to at the same time. Its a good but scary feeling. Is this what growing up is supposed to feel like ?
x
Every time I pass high school juniors, I cant help but feel sort of old (I know it sounds ridiculous since Im barely 16) and a little superior, like I know so much more than them (Im not talking about booksmart but just high school experiences and that sorta thing). Is this how you form 4 and form 5 classes of '06 felt when my freshman class came prancing into STPD, excited at the thought of being high school kids, thinking we were so cool ? Makes me laugh when I think about it.
x
x

RANDOM

Im spending too much time under the sun. Ive become so dark ! Im not one of those people who are concerned about their skin tone. Never have been but when I looked in the mirror today, I was like "whoa". This is a result from staying back at school so often to build and blast the water rocket for physics and skating in the blazing afternoon heat. I was aware the whole time that I would be going back home a few shades darker but didnt really care. I didnt think it was gonna be this bad. Okay, Im exaggerating. Its not thaaaat bad. But keep this up and youre gonna be the girly version of Akon, Michelle.
x
I've got a pile of uncompleted homework due. I wish I was a cow so if my teachers ask me why I didnt complete any of their homework, I can just go right up to their faces and say "mooooooo". Actually, I can do that now, in my human form if I wanted to but then they might force me into getting a psychiatric evaluation and we all dont wanna know that result
x
I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and said "good morning, sunshine !" Dont give me that look. No one else wants to greet me good morning like that okay. Yes, I talk to my reflection all the time.
x
I didnt go to church the whole of Holy week cos moms still insistent on going to St. Anne's. If youre an avid reader of my blog, you'll know why Im so against that church. Refer to post 09 April 2009.
x
I was typing the word 'strawberry' but accidentally typed 'star' instead of 'straw'. That made me smile, I dont know why. I think 'star' is a pretty word.
x
Ive been eating chocolate every single day for the past 2 weeks. Time for a crash diet la. *cue scary music*
x
I think Kyren thinks Im weird. In the 'youre so weird, I dont even wanna know you' kinda way. HAHAH.
x
Im really happy I chose pure science stream instead of arts. I dont regret it one bit.
x
I really wish I could lick my elbow.
x
I couldnt sleep last night so I decided to text Shayne.
x
Me: guess what ? Im sitting on my bed, in my pjs, wearing heels. how cool am I ?
Shayne: Im in my boxers, on my bed with a santa hat. how cool are we !
Me: oh hell yeah bebeh ! we be the coolest jamaicans on da block.
Shayne: hey marn, do you like ma hair marn ? (jamaican accent)
Me: HAHAHAHAH ! apasal lu tada tido lagi ? (apek accent)
Shayne: sebab arr... itu stomach arr... banyak banyak hungry o, tapi saya takut mau tulun bawah sendili ambik makan, lumah saya arr... bawah ada momok punya.
*after texting each other nonsense for a while*
Me: saya ada bangun pukul 2pm hari ini, skarang saya sudah terlalu aktif oh tapi saya kena cuba tido la. esok ada schl. nighty night, peanuthead.
Shayne: tidak berapa-apa! kamu mau tido arr, sangat senang punya wo! lu tutup mata dan ingat itu kambing bili-bili lompat punya. sangat senang mau tido punya.
x
Itu peanuthead banyak punny punya oh. (:

2009-04-13T18:00:00.010+08:00

Im trying really hard to be happy again. Im trying to be more optimistic, to be the person I used to be. The person I promised myself I would go back to being, the person I lost somewhere along the lines. I thought I was becoming that person again. I thought I was starting to look at the glass as half full. I cant help but feel like Im lying to myself. Like, deep down, I know its not always gonna be okay.

Truth is, I havent been changing. I've just been pretending to in an attempt to make myself feel better. I still find those pessimistic thoughts creeping into my mind. Im still trying not to care about anyone thinking this beforehand indifference will ease the pain when they find a way to hurt me, intentionally or not which Im constantly expecting. Im still constantly expecting the worst from everyone and everything, thinking that it wont hurt so much since I already saw it all coming. Im still hiding my heartache, still pretending every things alright when its not. Im still trying not to feel. Ive just been ignoring these feelings.

I had blocked everything and everyone out with that wall I built which Im finding impossible to tear down now. Letting go of the girl who was always so angry, the girl who was always too sad to give a fuck, the girl I turned into, is a lot harder than I thought.

I realized something today. I used to wake up feeling slightly excited without fail every morning. Now, I wake up everyday, sad, wishing I could go back to sleep, dreading facing the day. I can honestly say, I've completely forgotten what its like to feel genuinely happy. Apart from conversing with the people Im used to, conversations with fresher faces have become somewhat of a challenge. This is a result from me not wanting to get close to people for such a long time, that now, its like I've forgotten how. I've forgotten the lighthearted, free flowing conversations I used to have, even with people I barely knew.

Im not going to let this stupid wall I built dictate who I am, what I say and how I feel. I am going to giggle like a giddy school girl, have ridiculously easy conversations with just about anyone and smile genuine smiles again. I just dont know how but I'll figure it out. As for now, Im going to stop sounding like a broken record and face each fucking day with my head held high.

p/s: if you never broke my heart, I wouldve never realized I lost myself. thank you ?

I'm determined to love each day
more than Im afraid of it.
But, tell me, when do I start to heal ?

2009-04-13T00:31:00.008+08:00

Random;

Me: *talking to Ray on my cell phone*
*my house phone starts ringing*
Ray: "dude, why are you making that noise ?"
Me: "dude ! thats my house phone ringing, you retard !"

Me: "if I had a puppy, I'd name it Paramore if its a girl and Cullen if its a boy."
Ray: "what if it was in between ? like a tranvestite dog ? what would you name it ?"
Me: "are there such things as tranny animals ? eww."
Ray: "c'mon, if there were, what would you name it ?"
Me: "maybe I'd combine Cullen and Paramore and-"
Ray: "Matthew."
Me: "what ? mathew ?"
Ray: "I dont know it just came to me, man."

IM-ing Yukesh.
[ michelle ] says: I started skating. dont laugh
[ ]901™ૐ says: why would i? im all bout doing things u love. remember when u used to sit in interesting places? i supported u right (= (inside joke)
[ michelle ] says: If you werent so funny, I would beat you to death with my skateboard
[ ]901™ૐ says: owh dayum. skate board? i can barely stand on one
[ michelle ] says: I couldnt really balance on it at first either. I taught myself to skate eventually tho, without falling.
[ ]901™ૐ says: wow im impressed
[ michelle ] says: you should be, I learned in one night
[ ]901™ૐ says: then its probably not that hard LOL
[ michelle ] says: grrrr, I really wanna smack you
[ ]901™ૐ says: ok la. I know. its hard la. yay for michelle and her low centre of gravity
[ michelle ] says: HHAHAHAHAHAHA. gimme a sec
[ ]901™ૐ says: ill give u 36 just in case.

He cracks me up like an egg on the floor.

2009-04-12T19:59:00.011+08:00

RANDOMnesss.
Edit//

Wtf ? I just punched myself in the jaw by accident.
I was pulling on my tank top strap and it snapped
which made my fist accidentally punch my jaw.
Why do things like this only happen to me ?
HAHAHAH.

I had a typo, when I was logging in to facebook.
Instead of typing hotmail, I typed homail.
Get it ? Get it ? homail ? HAHAH.
That made me laugh. Heeee.

Sasha just told me she wrote a song
about maggi mee asam laksa cos
she likes it that much. HAHAH.
Oh, kelapa, you crack me up.

If I had a puppy, I'd name it Paramore if it was a girl
and Cullen if it was a boy...... I want a puppy !

My schools having bulan bahasa this month.
So theyre encouraging students to speak
bm on wednesdays and english on thursdays.
So Phoby, Ray and I have been speaking
chinese coffee shop apek bm every week
and we speak that way the whole day too,
even when we're being serious. Funny.

I just realized I have a shorter attention span than I thought.
I cant even pay attention during movies for long.
I get distracted easily and get restless.

I thinks its unbelievable how fucked up people are.
I'm not talking about anyone in particular.
I'm talking about people in general.

A stupid butterfly just flew into my living room.
I freaked out and immediately stood up on the couch
(automatic reflex, I do that every time I see a cockroach).
until I realized theres no point cos the damn thing flies.
(felt puhreety stupid after that)
So I ran out of my living room, yelling for my maid.
I made her beat it to death with a rolled up newspaper.

2009-04-09T14:30:00.016+08:00

EDIT//

Finally decided to stop procrastinating and get around to blogging. Blogging is starting to feel like homework to me. I was tempted to delete it but its just too many rants and raves and memories to erase with one click. Couldnt bring myself to do it.

Went out with Ray on friday to go buy me a skateboard (my latest phase, hahah) at Rupert Rage. Picked her up on the way (thank God for drivers) and headed to Sarawak Plaza. Didnt think Rupert Rage would be open yet so we decided to kill time by entering a toy store we walked by. There wasnt anyone there except for a few random adults and the sales assistants. It was pretty empty and quiet. Back in my day, toy stores were always full of noisy kids, running around, begging their parents to buy them something to play with. Hahah, sorry, couldnt help it. I think Ray and I made the most noise there. We giggled at and played with everything that wasnt sealed in a box. It was fun. This toy fire truck suddenly started blaring its sirens the minute Ray and I stepped in front of it, which gave us a fright and sent us running away from it. HAHAHAH.

Walked to centrepoint, where Rupert Rage was. Neither of us had been there before and we were pretty scared. If it wasnt for the semi-functioning shops and few people there, I wouldve thought that mall was abandoned. There were these gross punk wannabe trannies there that were bitch staring us okay. Walked up and down and all around, looking for Rupert Rage but couldnt find it. Us, being the idiots we are, didnt notice the signs at all the escalators saying 'censor escalator' and got the fright of our lives when the escalator which we thought wasnt working suddenly came to life.

The upper floors were even creepier. There was absolutely no one and none of the shops were opened yet even though it was almost noon. There was this big hole in the ceiling and Ray kept saying "someones gonna jump down from it and grab us in a net" over and over. I suh-wear, it felt like one of those movies where the victims are trapped in some abandoned building and the psychopath murderer is watching them without them knowing. Finally found Rupert Rage after asking for directions. We had actually passed by it a couple of times without even realizing. Yes, we can be bimbos at times. The damn store wasnt even open.

Went to the mall next door and bummed around. Saw the light saber Phobys been dying to get. Call me weird but the sales assistant there smelled fucking good. I kept whispering to Ray to casually walk by and smell him so we did that, using all our might to hold back our laughter. Ray said when he was standing next to me while I was talking to her, I kept inhaling deeply between words. HAHAH. Fucking hilarious. He wasnt hot or anything, he just smelled really nice.

Went back to scary centrepoint and once again got bitch stared by those trannies and held hands once we reached the deserted upper floors. Rupert Rage was finally open but didnt have enough cash for a skateboard. I only had enough for a deck but I didnt have any trucks or wheels to fix it to so I needed a full set which was like 500 bucks. The decks alone were RM300. So we bought band tees instead. I got an MCR and Fall Out Boy shirt. *giant grin*

Went to mcds after that. During lunch;
Ray: hey, you know water front right ?
Me: yeah.
Ray: lets ride the sampans !
Me: WHAT ?! dude, those things dont look safe. I dont know how to swim. what if it capsizes or something ? I dont want my MCR shirt to get wet.
Ray: *laughs* "youre more worried about getting your MCR shirt wet than drowning ?"
Me: "well, yeah. I havent even gotten a chance to wear it yet."
Ray: "oh, c'mon. just give it a try. I mean, youre moving soon right ? do this stuff in sarawak while you can cos I dont think kl has sampan rides, man.
Me: okay, okay.

We couldnt finish our fries so we left this for the waiters. :)

Fuck. HAHAH, we're so lame.

Went on the sampan after that. I was scared like fuck okay. I'd never been on a boat before. It didnt go far, it only lasted for like 5 minutes. We couldnt stop giggling, I was SO amused by everything and everyone was staring at us.

Me: "you know, we came out to buy skateboards but we ended up in a sampan instead."
Ray, me: *die laughing*
Me: "so fucking random la. I mean, we were like 'lets go on the sampan ! ok !"
Ray: "actually, it took much more convincing than that, scaredy cat."
Me: "shuttup. ohmygod, if this thing capsizes I think I'd die of shock or fear before I even start drowning. the crocodiles will eat us all !"
Ray: "dude, there arent any crocs. chill out."
*after a few moments of silence*
Me: "I think I like cars better."

thats the sampan.

it only takes you from that bridge to the othr side.

Went to the chinese museum after that since it was like 4 feet away. I dont know what it is with Ray and I and museums. I'd never been to a museum before I met Ray. She randomly takes me to the strangest of places, that girl. HAHAH.

Went running around the middle of the city after that. Thank God Ray was there or I wouldve completely lost my way. I kept walking in the wrong direction and Ray would have to yell "dude, its this way !" Im horrible with directions. We pretended to be tourists when lame malay guys came up to us, pretending to ask for directions and then asking for our numbers. The rest of the day consisted of us running around the streets, screaming MCR songs in the heat of the afternoon, looking for a tattoo parlor, and getting hit on by white men in uglyashell tribal print shirts.
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Uncle Chelvi and his family spent the weekend here. His daughters, Hema,17 and Sangeetha,19 are my second cousins and Ive never even met them before. Yeah, dads side of the family is so big, I dont even know who Im related to, I swear. At family gatherings, people will be coming up to me, talking about how its been so long since theyve seen me and I'll be nodding and smiling, wondering who the hell this mad person is only to find out theyre one of my relatives. Im pretty used to this happening now so at family reunions, every time people Ive never seen before come up to me, talking like we're long lost friends, I just assume we're somehow related.

Aaaaanyways, things were kinda awkward at first but we eventually started talking. Sangeethas studying psychology which I think is so cool and Hemas obsessed with David Archuletta. Hahah, so cute. New cousins.(: They went sight seeing to cultural village and some other sarawak-y places I dont know but I couldnt be bothered to go, not exactly my cup of tea.

Went to church on sunday evening and I swear, church, was hell. I dont hate church or anything even though I can never pay attention throughout mass no matter how hard I try (Ive got the attention span of a new born puppy okay, no kidding). Instead of going to the church in BDC like we usually do, mom randomly decides to go to St. Anne's since we've never been there before. The churches in sarawak are rich and fucking gorgeous okay. West Malaysia churches cant even compare but this one particular church, St. Anne's, is like a more stable, prettier version of a hut. Yes, a hut. Its open air and all wood and doesnt even have fans so it was fucking hot. They had all kinds of pretty lights everywhere but they couldnt fix in a few fans ? I was the only one there in a short skirt and mygawd, all the men, young and old, were staring at my legs, I felt so self conscious.

Suddenly out of nowhere this bat comes flying over my head which freaking scared me and it kept trying to fly into my face. Part of me was hoping it would turn into Edward Cullen even though in Twilight, vampires only take on a human form. HAHAH. After a while, there were two of them and they just kept flying around the church which for some insane reason didnt seem to bother anyone else. Anyone whos close to me, knows how terrified I am of things that fly. I run away from birds and butterflies okay, Im not joking. I just really dont like anything that flies. Except for planes, theyre okay. I couldnt take it anymore so I walked out of church, pretending to answer a phone call. Talked to Manda, Sasha and Shayne on the phone until mass ended cos I refused to go back in there. Shayne found my misery hilarious and wouldnt stop laughing, I wanted to smack him. Thank you Manda, Kelapa and Peanut for keeping me company while I hid from those flying beasts (its my blog, I'll get overdramatic if I want okay). Dont any of you dare label me as one of those stupid whingey, whiny girly girls, okay. Im not.

Sent uncle Chelvi and the family off to the airport on Sunday night and went to Boulevard to buy a cheaper skateboard. I named it Spider for reasons to embarrassing to admit. Phoby, Ray, shut up. I can skate now, still a little shaky but I can skate. I really need to learn how to ollie, man. I got my first skating injury, Im so fucking proud. *giant grin* I have two marks on my ankle which I thought were mosquito bites until they turned really red the next day. Its fading off now, though. I think its awesome cos now, my ankle is covered in colourful plasters which Im currently obsessed with. I feel so cool, okay.
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School was pretty fun today. Did experiments during chemistry. Watched Mr.Alfonso (private nickname we gave our chem teacher) drop potassium and sodium in distilled water to watch it fizz and catch fire. Pretty. I liiiike. We were only allowed to use lithium when we experimented ourselves cos its not as reactive. Stupid safety rules. The second round, when we heated it up with the bunsen burner, it was really pretty when the flame got bigger after putting it in the oxygen jar. When chemistry was over, I had an extra piece of lithium and there was a beaker of lime water on the table. Ray and I wanted to see what would happen if we dropped lithium into limewater. So we did, and both of us went to different sides of the chem lab and ducked in case anything caught fire. Nothing happened though, it had the same reaction it did with distilled water. Felt pretty stupid after that. HAHAH.

Random;

Me: "lets all be tree huggers."
Ray: *immediately grabs me and hugs me*
Me: "IM NOT A TREE, YOU IDIOT !"
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Phoby: "Ray, you got 10 cents ?"
Ray: "I only got 20 cents."
Phoby: "give it to me. I'll give ya back 10 cents."
Ray: *hands Phoby the 20 cents.*
Phoby: "yay, now I can buy the drink."
Ray: *talks fast* "hey, you gotta gimme the 10 cents change, man cos I need coins to call my dad with the public phone or he's gonna leave me here and-"
Phoby: *hands her 10 cents*
Ray: *stares at it* "oooohh, shiny..."

2009-04-05T01:56:00.035+08:00

I know I havent updated in a while apart from the previous post but that was just a rant so it doesnt really count.

Im not going to go into much detail cos honestly, I can barely remember the ridiculously stupid convos I usually have that I like posting up so much.

Lets see... I went to a museum ! For the first time in my life (Im not kidding, Ive never been to a museum before). I've been staying back at school with the girls quite often to build our water rocket for physics. Ray and I took a break and went to this cd store we found that sells music we listen to which is pretty hard to find in other stores. They were selling music tees too and I bought a Bullet For My Valentine t-shirt. I asked the guy if he would give it to me for free but he said no :(. Its pretty damn big but I love it. Ray finally got her Alesana and Funeral For A Friend cds.

When we got back to school, bragging about our cool stuff (yes, we're lame like that), Phoby made us buy her candy from the canteen.
Me: "hey, I never knew there was a grave near our school."
Ray: "yeah, people die a lot in kuching. the museum is over there."

Me: "really ? I didnt know that. Ive never been to a museum before."

Ray: "you wanna go ?"

Me: "what ? OKAY !" :D

And we ditched the project without telling anyone and walked to the museum. So fucking random. HAHAH.

It was fuunn. I was so excited, I almost threw up (I get nauseous if I feel over-excited, nervous, etc). We tried blending in with this group of old dutch tourists until we realized we werent white and I was still in my school uniform. HAHAH. Ray knew the place like the back of her hand. She showed me the life sized replica of the long house and went inside. We climbed the wooden ladder which was scary cos the steps were so damn narrow. I swear, theres literally less than 3 inches of space to place your feet okay. Ray and I were running around the whole museum like loons. Theres this huge field outside the museum which we ran across, holding hands. Fuuun. Oh, and Ray is afraid of cars and busy roads so we held hands and kept screaming and giggling every time we crossed the roads. HAHAH.

No pictures from that day cos we randomly decided to go so neither of us brought our phones or cameras.

Phoby and Theresa were waiting for us in school. They thought we were kidnapped and got worried. Aww. We told them about our random museum adventure and went again the next day with Theresa.

We pretty much did the same thing the next day. Theresa brought us to this other museum, all walking distance from our school. Ray and I needed the loo so Theresa waited for us in the gift shop. We got curious when we saw that no one was in the mens toilet so we went in. Now Ive seen everything. HAHAH. We were camwhoring in there until we heard foot steps so we ran and locked ourselves inside one of the stalls. Waited in there until the guy was gone. Continued camwhoring once he was gone but we heard someone coming so once again, we locked ourselves in one of the stalls. Couldnt stop giggling the whole time. Gotta love Ray. I mean, who else would sneak into the mens toilet with me ? Fucking hilarious.

Piiiiiiictures:

this is what happens when you give Ray pepsi.

caaandid.
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the mens toilet we snuck into. HAHAH.
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Ray: "so this is what its like to be a guy."
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in the replica of the long house.

man, I look like such a malay girl.
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ahh, sweeeeet airconditioning.

getting ready to blast Ray.

Ray: "kill me ! kill me !"

Me: "boy, youre excited about dying."

Ray: *calms down* "its the pepsi man."

Idk, dont ask.

Jump ! Omg, so retarded la.
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Look at Rays retarded pose.

I was trying really hard not to fall into the water.
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we look ridiculous lah.

I dont know wtf we were doing.

oh, kisses.

"eeeyhh, whats that on my- Theresa did you just take a picture ?!"

caaaandid.

Been staying back after school a lot lately to build the rockets for physics. Surprisingly it works. It flew almost 40 metres when we blasted it. The second one, which is the parachute rocket flew up higher than the roof of the school hall. We were so proud. *giant grin*

Random pictures:

the hearts we found in 5Sci2.

me. (:

Ray :)
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Phoby :) doesnt she look adorable ?

Will update on my weekend with the family and running around kuching, screaming MCR songs on the streets with Ray soon. (:

2009-03-30T18:53:00.006+08:00

I'm going to start putting the pieces back together very slowly.
I'm teaching my heart that its not impossible to heal.
I'm learning that its okay to smile once in a while.
Just give me time, I'll be alright.

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p/s: this sudden change, this sudden desire to find myself again isnt because of him. yes, he's part of the reason but not entirely. its because of well... everything. everything thats happened over the past few years, everything that didn't happen over the past few years, everything thats going on and everything in between.

2009-03-25T21:25:00.005+08:00

Try looking back on the past. Not to when you were a kid, (things were obviously bound to change since then) but just a few years ago. Done ? Things were pretty fucking different aye ? I was thinking about my freshman year in high school and its almost unbelievable how much has changed over the course of a year or two.
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Everyone I knew was so different back then. Including me. Especially me. We used to have so much to say to back then, all those random meaningless conversations and the million and one inside jokes we all shared. Now we've found other people to spend our time with and barely say two words to each other. I suppose you've got to be willing to loosen old ties if you wanna make room for new ones.
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Looking back at old pictures of me, it amazes me once I realize how different I was. How different I used to look and dress (ok, Im glad I dont dress that way anymore) but mostly how different I used to talk and think. Not to sound conceited, but whenever a boy used to tell me he thought I was pretty, I used to feel somewhat embarrassed and tell them how sweet they were. Now I just accept the damn compliment with a simple "thank you" or just let out a faint laugh and try to end the conversation. I can barely even remember the last time I called someone sweet. Im going to start saying that more often, Yes, I like the words 'sweet'. Its just so..... sweet. Hahah. Didnt know how else to describe it.
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I used to be able to strike up a conversation with anyone. I can still do that but I just dont make the effort anymore. I guess after moving, I felt like everyone I cared about was taken away from me and I just didnt want to get close to anyone because I knew it would only be a matter of time before I leave again. So I just closed myself off and refused to let anyone in. I joke, saying I've lost my mojo when people ask me why Im so quiet but truth is, its just an easier way of saying that I lost myself.
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Everyone used to tell me they thought of me as a girl who loves to laugh and smile all the time and that my random conversations and giggle fits could brighten up anyones day. How did I turn from that to this ? How did I turn from little miss sunshine to little miss broken ? When did I become so damn pessimistic and angry at the world ?
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Of course I did screw up a lot and I never was perfect but neither are all of you. I know what youre thinking, quit exaggerating, drama queen. But Im not talking about what you see cos what everyone sees is only what I choose to show. Im sick of hiding behind a plastic smile and this act I put on like nothing gets to me. Im sick of always having to tie the pieces of myself back together and having to do it all alone. Yes, in a way, a lot of the heartache I've gone through has helped me come this far. What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, right ? But Im sick of pretending that Im stronger than I really I am.
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This isnt who Im supposed to be. Who I am now, misses who I've been. I'm going to be that girl again. The one who would giggle and talk about absolutely nothing for hours on the phone, barely stopping to catch my breath. Maybe not right now, but soon enough when I'm ready.
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p/s: this may sound a little childish and I know youre alot older and that you've moved on but I still miss coming home from school to find a message from you everyday. Now, Im lucky to even hear from you every now and then. I still really miss you. I'm sorry, I cant help it.

2009-03-23T11:02:00.014+08:00

Im about to sound like a typical teenage drama queen. You have been warned. But honestly, Im not trying to be over dramatic or an attention seeker, this is all so much deeper than that.

Didnt go to school today. I was too tired from staying up til 5am. I woke up at 10am. I would usually never wake up any earlier than 1pm if I sleep that late but I just couldnt sleep in today.

You know how they say theres always someone on your mind before you fall asleep, whether you notice it or not ? Yeah, well forcing thoughts of you out of my mind last night, was one of the hardest things I had to do. I dont think I've ever felt so alone before. How do people cope with this kind of heartache ? This kind of heartbreak shouldn't even be legal. Its gotten to the point where that stupid beating thing in my chest is literally aching. I wish I could tell you all of this but that would be beyond inappropriate. Its back to constantly biting my tongue every time I talk to you.
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They say you need to pray if you wanna go to heaven,

but they dont tell you what to say when youre life has gone to hell.

2009-03-21T16:47:00.007+08:00

Random;

Talking to my retarded peanuthead online:
Me: hes alright la for a malaysian artist. malaysians usually suck at everything.
Shayne: yeah, I know. the only malaysian that has ever made it big is Oprah.
Me: *dies laughing*

Shayne: do you think Im fat ?
Me: that was random. why ?
Shayne: I want to look like Pamela Anderson by next week. think Im far off ?
(Shayne is obviously a boy by the way.)
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convos Manda and I have on the phone when we've got nothing better to do:
"my grandma just came up to me and told me Ive got a nice figure. then she squeezed my waist and walked away. she was describing my figure like a martini glass, you know."
"you do realize a martini glass is like triangularish right ?"
"I know, but you get what I mean. Like urm, those coke bottle curves. You know theyre all kinda wide on top, small in the middle then wide again."
"you mean an hourglass figure ?"
"THATS IT ! AN HOURGLASS !"
*dies laughing*

*manda was telling me about this weird guy she was dating who wouldnt cut his one long fingernail until he had a girlfriend and he cut it recently when he was dating her*
"so youre like dating him ?"
"I dont know. He thinks Im his girlfriend. Am I his girlfriend ?"
"I dont think it counts if you dont really know about it."
"but he cut off his fingernail."
*I practically die laughing*
"whaaaaat ?"
"so now we're judging boys relationship status by the length of their nails ?"

*manda was telling me about her boy problems*
*I told her her about how torn up I was over this boy*
"I bought new shoes."
"ooo, what shoes ?"
"wedges." *describes every single detail about her shoes*
"niiiice... do you realize that we just went from talking about heartbreak to shoes ?"

2009-03-20T03:19:00.006+08:00

Its 5.09am and I cant friggin sleep.

I guess thats what happens when I wake up at 12.00pm. But thats the earliest Ive woken up all week. Ive been sleeping at like 4.00am every night (or should I say morning ?) and waking up at 2pm the next day. This is nothing new for me, Ive been doing this my whole life but I really hate it cos it always messes up my sleep cycle once school starts again.

Aaaaanyway, I dont know why Im blogging (oh yeah, I cant sleep, thats why). I know I'll feel slightly relieved once I get this all out on my screen, I always do but I just dont know what to say. I feel like theres so much to say but Im at a loss for words. This is frustrating.

What a mistake to pretend its all okay, its not. Youre still a self-absorbed hypocritical fake slut.

On a different topic, cried a lot tonight. And then I cried some more. *sigh* Pathetic.

Its not like I never had a chance, I did but instead of taking it, I played stupid games and I suppose after a while you moved on. I dont blame you at all for that. I should have reached for that chance I had with you two years back. But I'm glad I didnt cos I know if I did, I wouldve never felt how I feel now. I wouldnt have felt what it was like to lose you. Honestly, I feel like Ive been losing you so many times in so many different ways. Except that you were never really mine to lose.

Im not asking you for anything. Love isnt a word I throw around. Its really intense to me and I just cant handle intensity. The thought of a relationship makes me feel sort of claustrophobic, like I have no way out.

Im afraid that my indecision and fear of commitment will lead to someone getting hurt which I cant bare. I think thats why a tiny part of me secretly wants things to stay complicated. I guess its easier if there are no strings attached when things get rough. Well, the strings holding the pieces of me together will probably be tangled up somewhere between us but people have been shredding those frayed strings to threads for a long time now, Im sure I can take one more person doing the same.

I want to run but only far enough to make you miss me. I want you to miss me. I need you to miss me. I dont know if Im in love with you. Im not sure if I know what love feels like. All I know is Ive fallen for you and Ive fallen hard. It doesnt really matter though, you dont even read this.

If tears could make girls pretty,
I must be the prettiest girl alive.

2009-03-19T14:38:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday,
Phoebe Simon !

(notice how Ray was trying to tip the party hat she made for you

out of A4 paper and duct tape off our head ? typical Ray.)
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Happy sweet sixteen, Phoby.
You are the aweosmest lezban ever !
Youve made my move to Kuching much more bearable.
I mean who else would I bitch about Kuching and

our lesbian-infested-sad-excuse for a school with ?
Not that the lesbian part is a bad thing though. HAHAH.

I love you my spastikos-mitokos lezban.